The Joke Thread... - Page 2 - TCCoA Forums

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #31 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 12:37 PM
6th Gear Poster
 
danman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Philadelphia PA
Age: 36
Posts: 658
This is one that my college professor likes to telll.

A business major student goes to school to learn to ask the question "How much does this cost"

An engineer goes to school to learn to ask the question "How do I make this."

A liberal arts major student goes to school to learn to ask the question......(drumroll)
















Would you like fries with that.

Badum, Crash.

danman

94 Tbird LX
4.6l V8
B&M Shift kit
More mods to come.
At first I worked on out of necesity(because I had no money)
Now I work on cars out of obsession
(and I still don't have any money)
danman is offline  
post #32 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 05:52 PM
4th Gear Poster
 
1 BAD T's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: East of Cleveland Ohio
Age: 50
Posts: 215
Send a message via Yahoo to 1 BAD T
ok ok

What did one Lesbian frog say to the other Lesbian frog????? WOW! We really do taste like chicken!!! Yo mama is such a ho....she blows santa claus for extra batteries......Later...

" Lifes too short not to drive a T-Bird !!" " I LOVE THE SMELL OF BURNING RUBBER IN THE MORNING!!"
1995 T-Bird LX 4.6 w/N20 "1 BAD T", 1995 T-Bird LX 4.6 ( Daughter's) and 1990 Cougar XR7 3.8 SC (Son's) and 97 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited

MY MYSPACE PAGE=http://www.myspace.com/1badt

MY WEB SITE= http://www.1badt.com
1 BAD T is offline  
post #33 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 06:56 PM
Motorboatin' SOB
Headlight Cleaning Guru
 
big mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: H-town, TX
Posts: 6,910
Send a message via AIM to big mike
your moms so fat....

the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs.

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesnt get a menu, shes gets an estimate.

everytime shes turns around, we throw her a welcome back party.

when she went to the restaurant, she sat down, looked at the menu and said to the waiter, "ok".

she has more rolls than betty crocker.

she makes richard simmons cry.


2014 GT
1990 300ZX TT
big mike is offline  
post #34 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 08:45 PM
Sheepish
 
AverageJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: San Antonio
Age: 32
Posts: 4,085
Send a message via AIM to AverageJoe Send a message via Yahoo to AverageJoe
Re: your moms so fat....

Quote:
Originally posted by big mike
the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs.

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesnt get a menu, shes gets an estimate.

everytime shes turns around, we throw her a welcome back party.

when she went to the restaurant, she sat down, looked at the menu and said to the waiter, "ok".

she has more rolls than betty crocker.

she makes richard simmons cry.

When she walks across the room the radio skips.

B Team - More skill, more results. A is only a starting point before progressing to B.

Member of the 'B-Team'. Finishing jobs the 'A-Team' can't handle.
AverageJoe is offline  
post #35 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 08:56 PM
Back in Black

Administrator
 
ShadowDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Charlotte NC
Age: 41
Posts: 14,176
When she turns all the way around we buy a new calendar.

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

1997 Thunderbird LX 4.6 AED 349.27RWHP/391.29RWTQ Engine Build Exterior shots
2002 Thunderbird Premium Triple Black 3.9
2013 Fusion Hybrid
*SCRAPPED* 1994 LX 4.6 NA 13.6@100mph 236.07RWHP/286.26RWTQ
ShadowDragon is offline  
post #36 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 09:25 PM
The Band, not the Disease!
 
AnthraxBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: NW Indiana
Age: 32
Posts: 3,090
Send a message via AIM to AnthraxBird
Why is your momma like a door knob? Everyone gets a turn.

1997 Mark VIII LSC - Toreador Red
AnthraxBird is offline  
post #37 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 10:07 PM
MA Chapter Director

Administrator
 
Rodeo Joe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Franklin, MA
Age: 60
Posts: 7,359
Garage
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid said, "Yeah." The cop said, "Well next year, tell Santa to put a tail light on that bike." The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid took the ticket. Before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did." the kid said, "Well next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Thanks Gagfish!

Joe

It's not a 97 Sport, it just looks like one!

Mass. TCCoAers, Send me your info!

I buy all my Ford parts from 93 lx.

Member of the TCCoA Damage Control Team.

R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975 - 2011
Rodeo Joe is offline  
post #38 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 10:25 PM Thread Starter
Refrigerator Raider Hater
Moderator
 
GreenBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Vermont
Age: 33
Posts: 11,719
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Matt "Looks Like Egon" Davis
96 Alpine Green V8
98 Audi A8 4.2Q in Racing Green Totalled
02 Audi A8L 4.2Q in Black

I buy my OEM Ford parts at 10% over dealer cost from Steve in White Bear Lake, MN.
You drive "like a man possessed"... by a woman!
GreenBird is offline  
post #39 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-10-2002, 10:30 PM Thread Starter
Refrigerator Raider Hater
Moderator
 
GreenBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Vermont
Age: 33
Posts: 11,719
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 47 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, ****!"

Only the states of South Carolina, West Virginia and Arkansas were different, where over 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this!"
--------------------------------
An appeals court is deciding whether Vermont should have raised a stink about a vanity license plate bearing a message that resembles a slogan containing a four-letter word. The legal battle began after the Vermont Department of Motor Vehicles said the "Shthpns" plate couldn't stay on a resident's pickup. The state issued her the plates, but later confiscated them..._

... What a bunch of fknasholz..
---------------------------------

Basic Rules For Driving In New Jersey:

* A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the construction barrels.
* Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road battle so never use them.
* Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you no matter how fast you're going. If you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
* The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
* Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.
* Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure that your antilock braking system kicks in to give you a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
* Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the exit but before the traffic begins to back up.
* The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information; they're just to make the Turnpike look progressive.
* Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right._ It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
* Speed limits are arbitrary figures to make NJ look as if it conforms with other state policies; these are given only as suggestions and are readily enforceable.
* Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that the driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
* Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic on the Garden State Parkway.
* Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even a person changing a tire. If you're lucky, you may see the unwitting breakdown victim get mugged.
* Learn to swerve abruptly. NJ is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to NJDOT, who put potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
* It is traditional in NJ to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. The state is founded upon such traditions.
* Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.
* All unmarked exits on the Parkway lead to downtown Newark.

Matt "Looks Like Egon" Davis
96 Alpine Green V8
98 Audi A8 4.2Q in Racing Green Totalled
02 Audi A8L 4.2Q in Black

I buy my OEM Ford parts at 10% over dealer cost from Steve in White Bear Lake, MN.
You drive "like a man possessed"... by a woman!
GreenBird is offline  
post #40 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 10:30 AM
cookie-cutter hotrod
 
SC_Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Age: 35
Posts: 1,290
Send a message via AIM to SC_Steve
Question New Santa for the South....

Please don't be offended by this if 'yall are from down Yonder j/k



To: All Concerned
From: Santa Claus

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. Differences such as:
There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC Cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.
Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"
As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."
The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.
And Finally,
Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

2001 Mustang GT ~ The Cookie-Cutter Hotrod
It's stock... no, seriously... it is
SC_Steve is offline  
post #41 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 10:58 AM
Automatic Weapon
 
Big-Al's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: St. Vincent and the Grenadines
Age: 40
Posts: 1,219

<----not throwing rocks at girls anymore
Big-Al is offline  
post #42 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 11:46 AM
Resident 40th Anniversary Expert
 
Shawn40th's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: LosAngeles, CA
Age: 36
Posts: 2,983
Send a message via AIM to Shawn40th
Im glad I live up north for once.

-Shawn

"People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people."

1997 Lincoln Mark VIII, LSC - Green/Tan Leather, Sunroof, etc. FOR SALE. Inquire within.

Current car: 1999 Corvette

The 40th Anniversary Tbird is gone. Her old website & CarDomain page

Senior Member of the 'B-Team'.
Shawn40th is offline  
post #43 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 11:49 AM
cookie-cutter hotrod
 
SC_Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Age: 35
Posts: 1,290
Send a message via AIM to SC_Steve
Quote:
Originally posted by Shawn40th
Im glad I live up north for once.

-Shawn
Hey, Shawn.... what's been up, man? Long time no see.... how's school?

2001 Mustang GT ~ The Cookie-Cutter Hotrod
It's stock... no, seriously... it is
SC_Steve is offline  
post #44 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 12:24 PM
Newbie
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Age: 33
Posts: 10
yo moma

yo moma is so nasty that i called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection!!!!
Solidace50 is offline  
post #45 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 12:56 PM
cookie-cutter hotrod
 
SC_Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Age: 35
Posts: 1,290
Send a message via AIM to SC_Steve
Re: yo moma

Quote:
Originally posted by Solidace50
yo moma is so nasty that i called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection!!!!
hahahaha, that one's new to me

Yo mama's so....

...old, she owe's Jesus food stamps
...old, she gives off powderd milk
...old, she farts dust
...slutty, she can suck-start a Harley
...slutty, she was on a Box of wheaties with her leg's spread saying "breakfast of Champs"
...slutty, when she wear's a skirt people complement her belt
...slutty, she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball
...bald, I can see what's on her mind
...bald, she took a shower and got brain washed
...fat, that when she wears high-heels she strikes oil
...dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund
...dumb, she thought Taco-bell was a Mexican phone Company
...teeth are so yellow, she spits yoo-hoo
...missing so many teeth, it looks like her tounge's in jail

I'll post more when I can think of 'em

2001 Mustang GT ~ The Cookie-Cutter Hotrod
It's stock... no, seriously... it is
SC_Steve is offline  
post #46 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 01:31 PM
Back in Black

Administrator
 
ShadowDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Charlotte NC
Age: 41
Posts: 14,176
The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and replied, "Judge, when I put a dollar in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

1997 Thunderbird LX 4.6 AED 349.27RWHP/391.29RWTQ Engine Build Exterior shots
2002 Thunderbird Premium Triple Black 3.9
2013 Fusion Hybrid
*SCRAPPED* 1994 LX 4.6 NA 13.6@100mph 236.07RWHP/286.26RWTQ
ShadowDragon is offline  
post #47 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 01:54 PM
Koolbreeze
 
AndyR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maiden, NC
Age: 39
Posts: 841
Send a message via AIM to AndyR


Yep

"Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC Cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy."

He can just use the RC Cola bottle when he's done with it


...mmmmmmmmmMoonPies.....

She was driving the car, one thumb on the wheel; cigarette burnin, life to her was no big deal.
Her thin, white tanktop was almost see-thru; I've always been attracted to her dragon tattoo.
AndyR is offline  
post #48 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 02:27 PM
Resident 40th Anniversary Expert
 
Shawn40th's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: LosAngeles, CA
Age: 36
Posts: 2,983
Send a message via AIM to Shawn40th
Quote:
Originally posted by SC_Steve


Hey, Shawn.... what's been up, man? Long time no see.... how's school?


School is great. Maine is nice, I just hate cold but I live in Roc NY anyway so oh well. I am back for the winter. I will be back in the summer and we deffinitly have to get a meet going sometime. There are quite a few people from Buffalo to Syracuse and even a little bit south.
Hope things are going good for you,
take care,
-Shawn

"People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people."

1997 Lincoln Mark VIII, LSC - Green/Tan Leather, Sunroof, etc. FOR SALE. Inquire within.

Current car: 1999 Corvette

The 40th Anniversary Tbird is gone. Her old website & CarDomain page

Senior Member of the 'B-Team'.
Shawn40th is offline  
post #49 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 03:23 PM
cookie-cutter hotrod
 
SC_Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Age: 35
Posts: 1,290
Send a message via AIM to SC_Steve
Talking The Elephant and the ant...

One time there was an elephant and an ant walkin through the jungle and the elephant fell into a pit. "help me help me" the elephat said.

So the quick thinking ant ran into town grabbed a corvette and drove back quickly as possible. Once back at the pit the elephant attached his trunk to the bumper and the elephant was pulled to freedom.

A little while later the ant fell in to a hole as well. The equally as quick thining elephant unfurled his penis into the hole and the ant climbed his way to freedom.

The moral of the story: If you have a large penis you don't need a corvette.

*SC Steve zips up flame suit*

2001 Mustang GT ~ The Cookie-Cutter Hotrod
It's stock... no, seriously... it is
SC_Steve is offline  
post #50 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 03:35 PM
4th Gear Poster
 
MadDog2020's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Milford NH
Age: 38
Posts: 343
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH(BREETHS) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(BREATH S AGAIN)AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHA VOUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH


I needed that............

1998 Toyota Supra

with fresh rebuilt T12b x2
MadDog2020 is offline  
post #51 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 05:59 PM
Cougar Pilot
 
BlackCat94's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Gopher State
Posts: 3,443
That is funny
BlackCat94 is offline  
post #52 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 06:49 PM
Anything But Typical
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 1,337
Send a message via AIM to BambiRambino47
Talking

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


~*~ Molly
BambiRambino47 is offline  
post #53 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-11-2002, 08:50 PM Thread Starter
Refrigerator Raider Hater
Moderator
 
GreenBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Vermont
Age: 33
Posts: 11,719
heheh...that is a variation of the donkey and the chicken...

Matt "Looks Like Egon" Davis
96 Alpine Green V8
98 Audi A8 4.2Q in Racing Green Totalled
02 Audi A8L 4.2Q in Black

I buy my OEM Ford parts at 10% over dealer cost from Steve in White Bear Lake, MN.
You drive "like a man possessed"... by a woman!
GreenBird is offline  
post #54 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-14-2002, 04:08 PM
Back in Black

Administrator
 
ShadowDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Charlotte NC
Age: 41
Posts: 14,176
Ok, it's old, but humerous.


R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

1997 Thunderbird LX 4.6 AED 349.27RWHP/391.29RWTQ Engine Build Exterior shots
2002 Thunderbird Premium Triple Black 3.9
2013 Fusion Hybrid
*SCRAPPED* 1994 LX 4.6 NA 13.6@100mph 236.07RWHP/286.26RWTQ
ShadowDragon is offline  
post #55 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-17-2002, 02:12 AM
Chapter Director Coordinator
Moderator
 
jamesD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Kissimmee
Age: 35
Posts: 6,253
heheh

hehehe...

i still like robin william's idea... give ol' "Ted" a few boxes and a mailing list...
jamesD is offline  
post #56 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-17-2002, 05:24 AM
4th Gear Poster
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Neither here nor there.
Age: 42
Posts: 263
A blonde sits down to do a puzzle. After several hours and not getting anywhere she calls her brother. She all distraught and tells him about her problem. She ask if he can come over and help. He ask what's the puzzle supposed to be. She replies that it is supposed to be a tiger. The brother is confused so he tells her he will be over shortly. He arrives and she leads him to the kitchen where the pieces are scattered over the table. The brother examines the pieces and tells his sister there is no way that he nor she can get the puzzle put together. He convinces her to go with him to get some coffee and calm her down. He said once you calm down and relax you can help me put the frosted flakes back in the box.
sleepr is offline  
post #57 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-17-2002, 05:48 AM
cookie-cutter hotrod
 
SC_Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Age: 35
Posts: 1,290
Send a message via AIM to SC_Steve
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally posted by sleepr
A blonde sits down to do a puzzle. After several hours and not getting anywhere she calls her brother. She all distraught and tells him about her problem. She ask if he can come over and help. He ask what's the puzzle supposed to be. She replies that it is supposed to be a tiger. The brother is confused so he tells her he will be over shortly. He arrives and she leads him to the kitchen where the pieces are scattered over the table. The brother examines the pieces and tells his sister there is no way that he nor she can get the puzzle put together. He convinces her to go with him to get some coffee and calm her down. He said once you calm down and relax you can help me put the frosted flakes back in the box.

Bwaaaahahahaha..... good one, man!

2001 Mustang GT ~ The Cookie-Cutter Hotrod
It's stock... no, seriously... it is
SC_Steve is offline  
post #58 of 1191 (permalink) Old 12-17-2002, 09:24 AM
cookie-cutter hotrod
 
SC_Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Age: 35
Posts: 1,290
Send a message via AIM to SC_Steve
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?


He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.








What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his butt?


A dart.

2001 Mustang GT ~ The Cookie-Cutter Hotrod
It's stock... no, seriously... it is
SC_Steve is offline  
post #59 of 1191 (permalink) Old 04-22-2003, 08:08 PM
PostWhore
 
Audiobahnbird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mechanic Falls, Maine
Age: 32
Posts: 1,411
Send a message via AIM to Audiobahnbird
allright this ones alittle gross

Theres these three guys out in a jungle exploring, looking for lost civilizations. The three guys stumble across an angree tribe of painted up dudes with lip disks and the whole works, the tribe ties them up and gives them 2 choices.....death, or Mugumbo

The first guy says "i guess ill take mugumbo, i dont really want to die" so the tribe responds by saying "MUGUMBO! YEAAAA! and drags him behind theyre teepees and butt-rapes him, he comes back rubbin his butt and limping but says "well it was better than death"

The second guy says "well i dont really want mugumbo but, i gues ill take it, i have kids and stuff" once again the tribe yells a loud "YEA! MUGUMBO!!!!" and drags him out back and butt-rapes him. The guy comes back and complains that it sucks but its still better than dying.

The Third guy has his mind set, he says "NO WAY! im not getting molested by you freaks, i choose death!" and the tribe screams "DEATH BY MUGUMBO!"



as Dr. Evil would say "a-thankyou"

Please enjoy my new and improved short signature- Russ
Audiobahnbird is offline  
post #60 of 1191 (permalink) Old 04-22-2003, 11:24 PM
PostSkank
 
StupidFly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Tempe, AZ
Age: 35
Posts: 3,231
Send a message via AIM to StupidFly
alright, here goes:

Ok, so theres this bartender, and hes just chillin at his bar. In walks this pirate. I mean, hes got the eye patch, peg leg, hook, parrot, 3 point hat, 4 teeth, 3 day beard and a funk about him that shrivels plants.

Only thing is, hes got this steering wheel just hanging out the fly of his pants. Now, he looks like he doesnt take any crap, so the bartender just bites his lip and serves him.

Now, this pirate hangs around for awhile, and hes pretty drunk. Finally the bartender works up the balls to ask him. "Hey man, nothing personal, but whats the deal with the steering wheel? Doenst that bother you??"

The pirate looks up at him and replies..................






"Yarr... its driving me nutz!"

pay da man.... cha ching

math > pasta
StupidFly is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TCCoA Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome