Ouch! chip to the eye.. stupid things youve done with food - TCCoA Forums
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post #1 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:32 AM Thread Starter
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Wink Ouch! chip to the eye.. stupid things youve done with food

imagine.. its 2:30am.. everyone but you is asleep.. you sitting behind your computer screen scarfing down a family sized bay of Lays™ original chips..you reach in for your last handfull but notice all you grab is crumbs. you look in the bag, look around to make sure no one is watching and straighten one side of the bag out. you lift the sealed end of the bag up in an attempt to pour the remaining crumbs into your mouth.. you become happy as the last of the chips hits your tongue and , craving more, you open one eye to check and see if its all gone. at that very moment.."OUCH!! SON OF A...." as soon as you opened your eye one last crumb fell into it..

yea i just did that and im extremely bored.. (on a side note.. it wasnt that dramatic..) so i figured id make a random thread to show our inner stupidity to each other.. lol.. ive also broken my foot with a 28Lbs turkey.. theres your starter.. whos next?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Maynard
Thou shalt pullest out thy pin and count to 3. no more, no less. 4 thou shall not count. nor shall thou count to 2, unless then proceeding to 3. 5 is right out! once thou counts to 3. being the third number being reached, then thou lobbest thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, towards thy foe, who be nort in my sight, dare snuff it...
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post #2 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:39 AM
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damn family size bag?? and who eats Orginals anymore? Chile n Limon FTW!
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post #3 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:42 AM
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damn family size bag?? and who eats Orginals anymore? Chile n Limon FTW!
sour cream & onion ftw!

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post #4 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:42 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by guitar maestro View Post
damn family size bag?? and who eats Orginals anymore? Chile n Limon FTW!
hey i hate the ruffles and the bbq.. if i had bought the chip they wouldve been the salt n vinegar ones as for the family size bag... youd be surprised how much food i can put away

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Originally Posted by Brother Maynard
Thou shalt pullest out thy pin and count to 3. no more, no less. 4 thou shall not count. nor shall thou count to 2, unless then proceeding to 3. 5 is right out! once thou counts to 3. being the third number being reached, then thou lobbest thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, towards thy foe, who be nort in my sight, dare snuff it...
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post #5 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:44 AM
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We had a picnic today at my daughter's school. Sandi sent PBJ with her. Upon arriving outside with the kids, she was already eating her sandwich when we walked up. It was all kinds of messed up with jelly everywhere. We asked her what happened....."I sat on it by accident." She still ate it (kids are funny like that), but man that was one messed up sandwich.

Not as exciting as a turkey broken foot, but funny nonetheless. Speaking of turkeys, I almost got killed by one once. I was headed home on my motorcycle years ago. I came round a curve and there was a flock of wild turkeys crossing the road. I was doing 50-60 somewhere and one bird hit me in the left shoulder. It was by the grace of God that I didn't wipe out. I had a bruise on my shoulder the size of a basketball and couldn't move my arm for a couple days. So it wasn't really what I did with food but what (potential) food did to me.

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post #6 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:47 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir William View Post
So it wasn't really what I did with food but what (potential) food did to me.

i dont know, maybe its the rum in my drink or maybe its the caffeine or maybe im just that tired but that line made my fall out of my chair laughing and as for the turkey broken foot being exciting... well.. it was exciting to say the least.. lol

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Originally Posted by Brother Maynard
Thou shalt pullest out thy pin and count to 3. no more, no less. 4 thou shall not count. nor shall thou count to 2, unless then proceeding to 3. 5 is right out! once thou counts to 3. being the third number being reached, then thou lobbest thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, towards thy foe, who be nort in my sight, dare snuff it...
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post #7 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:51 AM
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dude i'll take you to school in an eating contest...trust me ........what I intended to convey was, why eat the whole family size bag when you can eat real food?...unless you want salt to come out of your wounds when you bleed lol
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post #8 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:57 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by guitar maestro View Post
...unless you want salt to come out of your wounds when you bleed lol
thats not such a bad idea.... lol the only things i eat seem to have extremely high salt content.. (well the things that are readily available lol)
for instance:
ramen noodles, chips, fried chicken, fettuccine(yum!), bacon, peccadillo, rho pa-villa, etc you get the point.. oh and i cant forget salt pork lol

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Maynard
Thou shalt pullest out thy pin and count to 3. no more, no less. 4 thou shall not count. nor shall thou count to 2, unless then proceeding to 3. 5 is right out! once thou counts to 3. being the third number being reached, then thou lobbest thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, towards thy foe, who be nort in my sight, dare snuff it...
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post #9 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 03:05 AM
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I'm the guy that gets you to upsize that soda lol

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post #10 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 09:08 AM
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I'm the guy that gets you to upsize that soda lol

*AHEM*



Does taking liquid hot food out of the microwave and placing it in not so liquid hot mouth count?

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post #11 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 09:10 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Jestkdn View Post
*AHEM*
http://www.clippedcotton.com/grafx/s...erocola_lg.jpg


Does taking liquid hot food out of the microwave and placing it in not so liquid hot mouth count?
yea it does lol

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Maynard
Thou shalt pullest out thy pin and count to 3. no more, no less. 4 thou shall not count. nor shall thou count to 2, unless then proceeding to 3. 5 is right out! once thou counts to 3. being the third number being reached, then thou lobbest thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, towards thy foe, who be nort in my sight, dare snuff it...

Last edited by cougar_guy04; 05-30-2008 at 11:47 AM. Reason: Took IMG tags out of quote
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post #12 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 09:15 AM
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I worked at a body shop early on in my career.

One evening, I stayed at the shop, overnight, to complete and prepare a customer's restored/customized (House of Kolor paint, 4 coats of clear, over the white stripes) 1970 LS6 Chevelle for a show the next morning, and ended up staying there, working on the car, completing it right as the owner showed up. After the car was loaded on the trailer, and being paid $500 for my efforts, I left the shop, and drove straight to McDonald's, to get something to eat....I got there just in time for lunch, so I ordered the double quarter pounder meal, and then proceeded to try to drive home, with me attempting to nod off every 10 seconds or so.

The food woke me up a bit, but I had no business driving home, as I had just worked 24 hours straight, and I was hideously tired. At one point, I hallucinated, and thought that there was a cow in the road, nailing the brakes.....but nothing there.
I ate my burger, and then started on the fries. I went to pop some fries in my mouth, and I bit my own finger.
"Ow, F***!!!"
Damn, that hurt.

I got two more handfuls in, and then bit my finger again.
"Ow, F***!! Dammit!! OWWW!!!!"

I nursed my sore finger, and then went to finish off the fries.
Of course, I bit the same finger a third time.
"Ow, Ow, F***, man!!! OWWW!!!!"

With angry frustration quite evident, I said "Screw this!", and tried to throw the fries out my window......the window was still up....and I also followed up with what remained of my drink, also into the non-opened window.


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post #13 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 09:19 AM Thread Starter
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I worked at a body shop early on in my career.

One evening, I stayed at the shop, overnight, to complete and prepare a customer's restored/customized (House of Kolor paint, 4 coats of clear, over the white stripes) 1970 LS6 Chevelle for a show the next morning, and ended up staying there, working on the car, completing it right as the owner showed up. After the car was loaded on the trailer, and being paid $500 for my efforts, I left the shop, and drove straight to McDonald's, to get something to eat....I got there just in time for lunch, so I ordered the double quarter pounder meal, and then proceeded to try to drive home, with me attempting to nod off every 10 seconds or so.

The food woke me up a bit, but I had no business driving home, as I had just worked 24 hours straight, and I was hideously tired. At one point, I hallucinated, and thought that there was a cow in the road, nailing the brakes.....but nothing there.
I ate my burger, and then started on the fries. I went to pop some fries in my mouth, and I bit my own finger.
"Ow, F***!!!"
Damn, that hurt.

I got two more handfuls in, and then bit my finger again.
"Ow, F***!! Dammit!! OWWW!!!!"

I nursed my sore finger, and then went to finish off the fries.
Of course, I bit the same finger a third time.
"Ow, Ow, F***, man!!! OWWW!!!!"

With angry frustration quite evident, I said "Screw this!", and tried to throw the fries out my window......the window was still up....and I also followed up with what remained of my drink, also into the non-opened window.


I now go home from work at my regular time.


not food related but this morning i was driving next to a guy who had just reached the filter on his Marlboro.. and he tried to flick it out that little 1 1/2" gap in the window for letting the smoke out.. needless to say he missed horribly and it bounced back into his cheek which caused him to almost hit my car.. i would've been pissed if i hadn't been watching the whole thing.. i could barely drive straight for laughing

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Maynard
Thou shalt pullest out thy pin and count to 3. no more, no less. 4 thou shall not count. nor shall thou count to 2, unless then proceeding to 3. 5 is right out! once thou counts to 3. being the third number being reached, then thou lobbest thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, towards thy foe, who be nort in my sight, dare snuff it...
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post #14 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 09:43 AM
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i just farted.

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post #15 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 11:03 AM
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i just farted.
I have to say I laughed so hard when I got here.

Read all these long threads, get to this one and short and (not so) sweet.
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post #16 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir William View Post
We had a picnic today at my daughter's school. Sandi sent PBJ with her. Upon arriving outside with the kids, she was already eating her sandwich when we walked up. It was all kinds of messed up with jelly everywhere. We asked her what happened....."I sat on it by accident." She still ate it (kids are funny like that), but man that was one messed up sandwich.

Not as exciting as a turkey broken foot, but funny nonetheless. Speaking of turkeys, I almost got killed by one once. I was headed home on my motorcycle years ago. I came round a curve and there was a flock of wild turkeys crossing the road. I was doing 50-60 somewhere and one bird hit me in the left shoulder. It was by the grace of God that I didn't wipe out. I had a bruise on my shoulder the size of a basketball and couldn't move my arm for a couple days. So it wasn't really what I did with food but what (potential) food did to me.
That is too Funny!
I had almost the identical thing happen to me about 25 years ago.
I too was riding my Motorcycle outside of Austin Texas just coming around a bend in the road when I got hit on the side of the head and the whole world went black for a second. I almost lost control of my Bike and ended up in a field.
When I was able to get stopped I looked around and saw a wild turkey flying away from me off into this field.

Scared the living crap out of me!

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post #17 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 02:01 PM
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I have to say I laughed so hard when I got here.

Read all these long threads, get to this one and short and (not so) sweet.
well, it burnt my eyes..

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rest in peace JL
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post #20 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 09:12 PM
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I have to say I laughed so hard when I got here.

Read all these long threads, get to this one and short and (not so) sweet.
i have to agree i nearly choked on my soda laughing so hard when i got there.... and i still laughing..... ok im done.

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post #21 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-31-2008, 10:17 AM
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I now go home from work at my regular time.
That line made the whole post worth reading. Like the moral of the story, i lol'd.

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post #22 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-31-2008, 04:35 PM
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well, it burnt my eyes..
ever have one so raunchy it burnt your hole?




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post #23 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-31-2008, 05:52 PM
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ever have one so raunchy it burnt your hole?
Every time i eat taco bell...

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post #24 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-31-2008, 07:47 PM
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Every time i eat taco bell...
lol ...This thread is gettin good!

Not about the food I have eaten. Although when I was in high school me and some freinds worked at Burger King. Well you guys can imagine what all we got into. Well for 1 story, one kid I worked with took an order from a customer who happened to go to our high school also but none of us really liked for whatever reason I forget. Anyway I dunno if anyone remembers the Chick N Crisp sandwich?? It was chicken on a hamburger bun with Mayo and pickles....Well this kid ordered one, my co-worker came in the back after taking the order and hocked up a nice size loogey and proceeded to spit the thick green thing on the top of the bun, then smeared the Mayo on the top to cover it and made the rest of the sandwich...

Heres the Kicker.....The kid sat out in the dining room and ate the whole sandwich....We watched him and I must say that was one of the nastiest things I have seen....

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post #25 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-31-2008, 10:04 PM
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lol ...This thread is gettin good!

Not about the food I have eaten. Although when I was in high school me and some freinds worked at Burger King. Well you guys can imagine what all we got into. Well for 1 story, one kid I worked with took an order from a customer who happened to go to our high school also but none of us really liked for whatever reason I forget. Anyway I dunno if anyone remembers the Chick N Crisp sandwich?? It was chicken on a hamburger bun with Mayo and pickles....Well this kid ordered one, my co-worker came in the back after taking the order and hocked up a nice size loogey and proceeded to spit the thick green thing on the top of the bun, then smeared the Mayo on the top to cover it and made the rest of the sandwich...

Heres the Kicker.....The kid sat out in the dining room and ate the whole sandwich....We watched him and I must say that was one of the nastiest things I have seen..
..
That is real mature.
I guess the world has changed.
If someone had done something like that when I was young and working in a restaurant I would have done something to stop it.

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post #26 of 43 (permalink) Old 05-31-2008, 10:12 PM
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i remember back when i was in school and i loved my fries dipped in ranch. my sister threw a fry that happened to land in my bowl of ranch. the ranch actually went in my eye. it sucked and everything was white for hours. my eyes water just thinking of it. man the school had bad ass ranch!

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post #27 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2008, 12:47 AM
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I've bitten my finger a time or two because I was eating too fast.

Now for two

No 1.
When I was in high school me and some friends were eating at Pizza-Hut. One of them said something funny. I laughed so hard that I snorted. When I snorted a little chunk of pizza I had just swallowed came back up and through my nose right into my drink.

Man that hurt like hell. My nose felt like it was on fire.

No 2.

Several years ago at work an ice cream truck used to stop by in the afternoon. I bought a popsicle and it was frozen pretty hard. When I licked it my tongue froze to it. I freaked out and yanked it off. Doing so made my tongue numb was well as jacking my taste buds up for a couple of days.
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post #28 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2008, 12:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenBird View Post
ever have one so raunchy it burnt your hole?
i literally lol'd when i read that...probably because i can relate.



but anyways..me and my two best friends went to jack in the box to get some food. One of my friends got a Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger..towards half way through the sandwich he decides he dosent want it anymore. So he puts the sandwich right next to my left cheek and calls my name, i turn to the left and i get mustard,ketchup,mayo and a slice of bacon on the whole left side of my face....everyone one in the restaraunt was laughing...including me. A couple if weeks later we go back to the same jack in the box, i get a burger and we sit down to eat, he was still hungry and i was just about done...then i remembered what he did to me. I asked him if he wanted the rest of my burger, his face lit up and he tried to reach for my food. I grab the bun off the burger and BAMM! he gets ketchup,mayo,mustard,pickles and everything on the side of his face. It was great, he even walked back home with mustard stuck on his forehead.

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post #29 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2008, 11:13 AM
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That is real mature.
I guess the world has changed.
If someone had done something like that when I was young and working in a restaurant I would have done something to stop it.
Well wasn't me who did it.....But at the time I wasn't mature...
In fact I don't know that I am here 10 years later....

Another good one we would play is co workers who had been drinking mountain dew, we would empty half of the soda out of the cup and go get the pickle container and empty a few inches of pickle juice into the soda back up to the same height that the drink was originally at so it wouldn't be noticable..

That was one of the best pranks ever, to watch someones face after getting a mouthful of pickle juice. It definatley made the person real

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01 Mustang Cobra with bolt on's-- 22k miles, might be for sale soon

http://www.cardomain.com/id/CDogg93
loudpipessavelives is offline  
post #30 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2008, 11:39 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fayettenam
Age: 33
Posts: 474
I may be doing that in the near future. There is this chick at my second job the I dont like. I know she drinks DP all the time. I appreciate the idea Loudpipessavelives.

97 T-bird Silver 4.6

If it aint one thing its another.
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