One of those days...
Don't worry this isn’t a depressing rant, it's just one of those days. Kinda funny?
I woke up this morning with only 4 hours of sleep and just about pushed off the bed because my girlfriend loves to hog the whole nest. I get to the bathroom and there no hot water and my toothbrush fell in the toilet as I'm trying to put toothpaste on the brush in a half-sleep attempt (don't ask). So I decide to go to work smelling like a foot disregarding basic hygiene. I get to my car (Chevy Cobalt) and there's white bird s**t all over the roof that's been baking in the morning sun. Usually there isn't a odor to bird crap, but this bird or birds must have ate some garbage because my car smelled like some weird s**t. Last night there was no construction on Capitol road when I came home. Some how the magical construction fairies managed to set up a one lane for more then 20 blocks. Great I had to piss off other drivers in a attempt to get to work on time during rush hour. You really can't scream out the window, "Sorry I cut you off I normally don't drive this way!" As I pass them at warp 9.
Lucky I get to work right on the nose, but I still get the bug eyes from the boss. I hate getting the bugs eyes! Some of you may know I'm a security guard in training to be a CEO of some huge porn industry down the road. Every morning I patrol the company parking lot and get the same homeless person that asks me for change EVERY 5 minutes because he has a 5 minute memory? That f***er has $50 of mine in the past couple years, b***h owes me dinner. It was a long day...one of those days that you just watch the clock every 5 minutes, just crawling along. After a long day of angry poor people I finally get to go home! I mood is up, I'm happy with glee until I see someone’s car double parking mine with the hazards on. It was a silver nice-newer BMW with 20’s, looked great (at least is was covering my bird shatted car). I wait about half an hour for his guy to came back because he was in the bank near by, looked rich. I tell him, “You know you’re double parking me? He says, “Yea, you’re right!” and speeds off. Wish I owned a gun, I’d rob his ass and steal his nice BMW…oh wait I’m a security guard…who cares I’m pissed.
So I get home after taking the forever one lane on Capital (trust me only way to get home) during rush hour. My roommate is watching Lord of the Nerds on his TV as I hear one of the hobbits screaming to the other, “I wont leave you Frogo, I made a promise!” I’m thinking…WTF?…and go to kitchen to grab my one of my best friends Miller Lite. Now I’m relaxing typing this and drinking a beer, I’m happy. Now I have to clean my s***ty car and get a toothbrush…and another beer. Thanks for reading my crap have a s***ty week!
God Bless the men & women who have served and serving to keep us free