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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-10-2005, 01:03 AM Thread Starter
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Any suggestions? (long)

My girlfriend of two years and I have split up, but we are still friends. She said that we are in two different places right now and she doesn't see us being more than friends in the near future. She did, however say that she doesn't know what the future holds for us, and that if we are meant to be together it will happen. So it is definitely a good thing that we are open to any future posibilities of getting back together. She is a junior in high school and I am a sophomore in college, so I can see how she can feel that we are in two different places right now. She is going through the time in her life when she is not quite an adult and yet not a child, and naturally she has some things to figure out. She told me that she wanted to be fair to me and not have me put my social/dating life on hold while she figures things out. Naturally, it is going to feel weird for a while just being her friend. I am worried that I will overstep my boundaries as a friend and start crowding her, and I don't want that to happen. Does anyone have any suggestions/advice on how not to overstep my boundaries of being a friend? Also, I am having trouble dealing with the loneliness, so any advice/suggestions there would be helpfull too. I am doing pretty well with handling the pain, which has something to do with the fact that this was a friendly break-up and there are no hard feelings between us. Sure, I am hurt because her and I were so close, but it doesn't hurt as much as it would if there were no hope for the future. So that's my situation, any comments/suggestions/advice are welcome.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-10-2005, 01:24 AM
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To this day, I'll never understand why anyone bothers to ask for relationship advice on these forums.

But in your situation, I'll say don't waste your time. Move on. Trust me.

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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-10-2005, 01:29 AM
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for as much as it hurts you gotta move on bro..it will be hard i know...you can be a friend with your ex-gf...trust me...found out the hard way..

what is she gonna do after high school?..college?..where?...how far?...are you guys that serious..a girl that tells you she *jus* wants to be friends for awhile is probably a girl that is cheating on you, havin fun while she can, being a slut and dumps you for your best friend...*cough sorry*...

anywho..dump her..work on your car...SHE WILL NEVER leave you..only jus b!tch and complain the whole time...lol..

-Mike
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-10-2005, 01:48 AM Thread Starter
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LiquidCougar: I can see how you would wonder why people ask for relationship advice on a forum dedicated to cars. I just like to bounce ideas off other people, that's my reasoning.

Thanks for your responses, both of you. I am planning on starting to date again, but northern Indiana, Plymouth especially, doesn't have the greatest selection of college-age women. I will continue to be her friend, though, because there is no use burning bridges that might be needed again at some point in time.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-10-2005, 01:58 AM
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about that bridge thing...if shes willing to break up with you *or put your relationship aside..whatever the fcuk that means* then she has the ability to do it again when your older..its all about trust right?...how can you trust someone that didnt want you to be a part of thier lives for a couple of years..

and not to be mean but when she says friends after shes finished with high school that basically means that if she doesnt have anyone as a boyfriend and doesnt know anything about college life THEN she'll look you up..thats what i think from past experiences...

maybe shes different i dunno..but thats how i see it..i hope everything works out for yah..

-Mike
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-10-2005, 10:53 AM
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Ok, here goes.

Move on. You can be friends, and of course it's going to suck, no one said it wouldn't. However, she's not willing to put forth the effort/energy to stay with you and wants to end it. You're worth more than "second best". And, at her age, she has no idea what's going on at all. There is a woman out there for you that will put you first and be perfect for you. All you have to do is keep your sanity until you come across her. And I do mean "come across". Don't go trying to find her, it doesn't work, I don't think it ever does, honestly. Go out with your friends and have fun, and I mean that in all seriousness. Do what you want, when you want, an enjoy yourself. And remember that the world is much bigger than Indiana. Take some trips, visit friends in other states, do what you want because you don't have anyone to "report" to anymore. The world is yours now, take it.

Have hope for the future to bring you what you deserve and want, and keep your head up. Just because one girl isn't right for you doesn't mean you're going to be alone forever.

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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-10-2005, 11:07 AM
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Being her friend will be the hardest thing in your life. Especially if you still love her. At least you don't have to live with the regret of knowing that your choices in life pushed you apart. I still cry every night thinking of my ex with another man. If you want to be together, then make it happeen. If you don't, and you aren't strong enough ( I don't know many who are) then it will eat you alive. Take this from expierence. Almost 4 months and the wounds are still fresh....

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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-10-2005, 11:14 AM
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Being her friend also intails listening to her talk about banging other men and that is really crappy. Best thing is not to talk to her leave her alone and move on with her knowing she can call u if she wants. Girls that age need to bang several guys to figure out what they want.

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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-13-2005, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Thank-you everyone for your responses, it is nice to know that there are people that still care. I am doing better now, which is probably because school started back up, and with 15 credit hours there isn't much free time to sit around and worry. For right now I will go back to my two loves: computers and cars (mine especially). I have to put my faith in God, because He has a plan for my life, including who I end up finding companionship with. I don't know what the future holds for me or her or even us, but I know that it will go according to God's plan. That's one good thing about this whole situation, it has strengthened my faith. Anyway, thanks for all of the advice. It sounds like Metalbassist03 is going through some relationship/dating problems too, so keep him in your prayers, as will I. Thanks.

Last edited by bcook_84; 01-13-2005 at 02:18 PM. Reason: name correction
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-13-2005, 02:29 PM
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Just so you know....girls suck....

--Craig

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