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post #1 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 10:39 AM Thread Starter
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Unhappy My Search for a Mate…

Well if this isn’t the most depressing thing that I can possibly think of!!

I just spent the time to sign up and create a profile (and it takes a while to create the profile) on eHarmony, which from what I’ve read is the best “online dating” place to find a mate. And I'm all excited, knowing that somewhere in the US there is someone that has the same interestes/outlooks as I do.

Well I knew I was weird, but damn, NOT A SINGLE MATCH FOR ME IN THE WHOLE USA!!!!

Talk about that just sucking beyond all belief!!

Should I just shoot myself now…

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post #2 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 10:47 AM
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There is someone for you somewhere in the U.S. She just isn't using eHarmony! Sooooo.... get your a** off the computer, go have fun, and you're gonna come across her!

--Molly
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post #3 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 11:26 AM
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Stop looking so hard. They tend to fall in your lap when you give up. That's what happened to me (my fiancee also). We basically had both given up on finding anyone, then we (re)met in June of 2000 (we knew of each other in high school, but went to different schools), sparks flew... We'll be getting married in July.

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post #4 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 11:39 AM
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try american single.com and yahoo peronals...all that kind of thing...don't give up...i know there is someone out there for you...but also go out and look not just on here...not everybody looks online..
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post #5 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 11:57 AM
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Ah, you're not that crazy, just give it time
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post #6 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 12:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cougar281
Stop looking so hard. They tend to fall in your lap when you give up...
Don't believe it. I gave up years ago. Still alone.
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post #7 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 12:38 PM
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I'm with the "fall in your lap comment".

At the most unexpected moment you might just meet someone special, you won't think its going to turn into a real relationship until it does.

No need to be negative or down in the dumps, there are so many girls out there its insane.

JH
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post #8 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tinman_72
Don't believe it. I gave up years ago. Still alone.
I agree.


94DD,

I don't know what to tell you. Sucks about what happened with the last one. Where are you going to try and find women? Library, coffee shop, local college, AA meeting? Anyway just keep pluggin' away being friendly and going on with your own thing and I think you will find one.

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post #9 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 12:43 PM
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Maybe you need to look on a Russian brides website.....I know they would be eager to meet your accomadation. You know I am just messin' with you.

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post #10 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 01:00 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for all the encouragement guys and gals!

I think a few major "drawbacks" that I have in the "meeting girls" department is that

1. I work in a computer room and only deal with people on the phone. i.e. I never meet anybody through my job. And there are a whopping 15 other PEOPLE in our whole building!!!

2. I'm not a religious person, so when someone tells me to go to church to meet someone, I just can't do that since I don't think that's really the right reason to go to church. And I live in the buckle of the Bible belt.

3. I’m not into the whole bar scene or going out partying. Been there done that, have the dead brain cells to prove it… I think…

4. People get married down here in AL at a VERY young age (or so it seems). So unless I want to start hanging out at high school football games looking for a date, the women are either married or have some major “baggage”.

96Bird: YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THE LATEST ON THAT FIASCO!!! And yeah, she was someone that just fell in my lap!!!

Russian wives... Sorry, but I really like my security clearance as it is... I'd rather not have to brief my security manager on my new "woman from Russia”... (I've been doing a lot of that lately anyway with the latest one!! )

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post #11 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 01:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 94 Daily Driven 4.6L
2. I'm not a religious person, so when someone tells me to go to church to meet someone, I just can't do that since I don't think that's really the right reason to go to church. And I live in the buckle of the Bible belt.

If you have no problem with going to church other than that, then just be upfront about it. Tell anyone who asks that you are just there to meet some nice people.

Most churches have other functions and activities than just the worship service. Try bible studies, pot lucks, weekend events, outings, etc.

If you know ANYBODY that goes to the church, just ask them about things to do, any church worth attending will be more than happy to have new people, even if you are just 'visiting'.

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post #12 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 01:42 PM
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Maybe do some volunteer work? Lots of nurses at hospitals, teachers at schools... etc. Unless I miss my guess you wouldn't consider that a waste of your time even if you didn't meet someone.

Or get you a kiosk in the mall selling cheap jewelry.
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post #13 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 03:23 PM
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2 words advice , stop looking , dont give them the damn 40 bucks for that. i wasnt impressed iwth eharmony either . too many questions and they pick people for you . i never liked the ones they picked for me. so i dont use it. . i have bad luck doingi dating and have been having more girls jsut appear latley .

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post #14 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 03:32 PM
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Just to throw my .02 in here....I got dumped recently....and I was depressed as hell about it, and was not looking to meet anyone, since I wasn't looking, I've met at least 6 girls this week, had two of them all over me, wanting more....kinda crazy, just let it happen. They'll come to you.

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post #15 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 03:36 PM
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if you haven't already...take a vacation somewhere not near where you live where the vibe is different, go out and you're bound to meet someone.

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post #16 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 03:43 PM
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Well 94DD, I am 42 and single. Well not married, I have a wonderful girlfriend that I met through yahoo personals. My roommate tried EHarmony and i wasn't impressed with it for the reasons listed above. I noticed that one of the difficulties you mentioned was "baggage". I'm not sure what you consider to be "baggage", but you have to accept the fact that at our age most single women weren't always single and are going to have kids, ex's, etc. My girlfriend has a 12 year old girl from a previous marriage, but she and I are the best of friends now. Anyway, good luck on your search and if you need some tips on the use of Match.com and Yahoo Personals (My two favorites prior to meeting Noretta) just PM me. Its always good to see someone on here who remembers the 80's instead of being born in them!


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post #17 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 03:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DHightower
Just to throw my .02 in here....I got dumped recently....and I was depressed as hell about it, and was not looking to meet anyone, since I wasn't looking, I've met at least 6 girls this week, had two of them all over me, wanting more....kinda crazy, just let it happen. They'll come to you.

lol don't mean to discredit you or anything, and I'm glad it is happening for you. When I was 21 things like that happened to me constantly. Sadly, things change when you get t o 21 X 2. The honeys just don't seem to swarm around you like they used to.


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post #18 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Traveler
... The honeys just don't seem to swarm around you like they used to.
Unless you happen to be one of those that has a large wad of cash to flash. They'll flock to that no matter the age... and yeah, I'm 21 x 2 so I know a little about them not swarming anymore.
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post #19 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 04:06 PM
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yea, I had forgotten about the external factors. Wads of Cash, big.... boats, sports cars, etc. Young ladies are still attracted to shiny pretty things. Ladies of our age tend to look for little things like..... employed, single, stable, (own home, mostly debt free, etc), no prison record. And of course not looking like Quasimodo is still a plus.


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post #20 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 04:11 PM
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Sorry, I must not have been thinking, I suppose there is a difference there...however I still think it's like when you lose your keys....Soon as you give up looking for them, you sit down and they jab you in the butt.

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post #21 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 04:12 PM
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post #22 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 04:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DHightower
Sorry, I must not have been thinking, I suppose there is a difference there...however I still think it's like when you lose your keys....Soon as you give up looking for them, you sit down and they jab you in the butt.

lol I love that comparison! And there is some truth in what you say.


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post #23 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 05:24 PM
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post #24 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 05:33 PM
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Man.. I feel ya buddy


However, I just tried something different when it comes to meeting women.. and so far not only do I have a phone #, I am having breakfast with her tomorrow!!

Here is what I did, I just found a girl who looked really bored where I eat lunch at, I was waiting for class and was bored. So I established common ground, then I grew some (somehow) and walked up and said hi, asked her if she was bored, and started talking.. Talked for 45 mins straight, got a #, and we talked again today, having breakfast tomorrow.

I will keep you guys posted.

You should try it too, I mean what is the worse that can happen? You get used to no after awhile. I know I do.

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post #25 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 05:53 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Traveler
Ladies of our age tend to look for little things like..... employed, single, stable, (own home, mostly debt free, etc), no prison record.
And what women would those be?!?! It seems like all the women around here want the tatoo'd, unemployed, criminal record, abusive alchololic...

Me: "He broke your jaw!!"
Her: "But I love him!
Me: "But he broke your jaw!!!"
Her: "But I love him"
Me: "BUT HE BROKE YOUR JAW.... oh just never mind!!!"

I've given up on trying to figure that one out!!!

Oh and I don't mind "baggage" like children and ex's... as long as the ex's are EX's!!! It seems that a lot of the women I do meet have husbands that don't realize they are divorced. Way too much interference.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Traveler
And of course not looking like Quasimodo is still a plus.
Uh oh, I'm in trouble...

You would be surprised at how many women will not even CONSIDER dating someone 5'2" tall!! And yes I know they are missing out.... but so am I...

I’ll try some of those other places. And thanks for the heads up on eHarmony. That “No Matches” REALLY hit hard and deep in the ole self esteem arena!!!

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post #26 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 06:08 PM
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Yea, I've come across the ones you describe also. Never could figure them out, they are beyond comprehension. Maybe if you broke her jaw??? Just kidding.

I've met my ex's previous ex. He was a nice guy, thanked me for helping his daughters. I have had the reverse happen. My first wifes second husband actually kept threatening me physically, concerned I'd want his wife back! I did my best to assure him that he had no reason to be concerned.

I wouldn't be to concerned with EHarmony's results. Just keep on keepin on.


1997 Thunderbird Sport
Low Miles
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destined to remain stock

1997 T-Bird GT 4.6
80 MM Mustang GT MAF - P&P'd Mustang GT TB and Intake Plenum - PI Intake manifold - PI Heads
Mark VIII Torque Converter - J-Modded 4R70W transmission - Mark VIII Aluminum Driveshaft - 3.73 gears
PBR Brake Calipers - Eibach Springs - KYB Shocks
'89 SuperCoupe front and rear sway bars
SCT Chip programmed by Lonnie Doll
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True Dual exhaust with Magnaflow DI/DO muffler
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post #27 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 06:12 PM
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Hell take a trip somewhere dont look too hard, three people I know have g/fs or in one case a fiancee who arent even from this country. My buddy met his girlfriend when we were in Europe last summer. And things are goin great for them despite the distance and only seeing eachother every three months.
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post #28 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 08:51 PM
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94DD,

Don't worry about it. Enjoy being single while you are, and then when you finally meet someone you'll be prepared for it. Rushing into something that ends up being a fiasco IMO is worse than just doing things solo. Personally I'm a bit scared of those online dating things, with my luck I'd meet the ex-wife of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy... I too subscribe to the whole passive approach to dating. I call my version "The Sir Isaac Newton Theory of Dating". Every time I've tried to make something work it doesn't. The times that worked came totally unexpected, just when I wasn't looking.
Live your life, go out with your friends, have a good time. Yes, I'm young and I go to the bars once in a while. I go out to watch a good band play as much or more than I go out to drink. If it was about drinking, I could do that here (and for less $ too). Most of the girls I've met at bars really didn't impress me anyway. Rude, ignorant, materialistic and braindead sum those up kinda nicely, lol. Show me an average looking girl I can have a conversation with deep into the night and now I'm impressed. You'll find the right one when its meant to happen, just like me. In the mean time, don't you have some MN12 wrenching to do?

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post #29 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 09:46 PM
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post #30 of 45 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 10:11 PM
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Don't bother.... women only make life more complicated and expensive.... buy yourself a supercharger and get a pet... that's much much cheaper, needs far less maintenance and won't ever argue with you!

If your already not happy single, chances are you won't be happy in a relationship once the newness wears off... Find happiness first and then find some else to join you... if not remember, misery loves company!

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