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post #1 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 01:17 AM Thread Starter
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..To the nice guys..

I know this is probably a repost, but here's to us, guys...

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

Had a particular visitor tonight, and I had to "vent".

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post #2 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 07:18 AM
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Damn I needed that!!!

Just reaffirms what I've observed.

THANKS!!

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post #3 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 08:09 AM
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I will 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th that -- esp that gta comment. God forbid I'd be posting up a record lap time or bringing the hand of god oh no, you must stop, totally disrupting your flow and pretend nothing is going on

I will say though, its better to be on the viewing end of drama then the action end. Drama ...egh.

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post #4 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 10:40 AM
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Ah, I'm about 1/2 way between nice guy - and jerk .

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post #5 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 11:17 AM
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Ahhhh.... yes. I'll have to admit, I'm guilty of that behavior. Going for the "bad" guy while my "good" guy friends watched me destroy myself. I'd like to think that now, I'm one of the girls that have "grow(n) out of that train of thought and realize(d) they should be dating the nice guys" I've personally had enough bad guys in my life already, and I'm tired...

...and, I've been on the flip side, too. Asked a guy out, only to have the "don't want to ruin the friendship" thing come out. Wow. That blows HARD. It's like telling someone that they're an excellent person, but still lacking something, and there's nothing you can do to fix it. Then stood by while he went out with a total [email protected]#!h... and paused countless Resident Evil games to listen to him complain about how she doesn't treat him right, and held my tongue.

So, anyway.... I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe I understand all too well, and for that reason, all you nice guys, that hold doors open, brave the disaster zone that is the juniors/misses department of stores in the name of a sale, and watch your female friends self-destruct over someone not worth two breaths...

I SALUTE YOU IN YOUR EFFORTS!

Keep it up. There are girls like me that do appreciate what you guys do, and do take notice! Keep the faith.

--Molly
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post #6 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 12:03 PM
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Nice guys do put up with a lot of bull****. I am one. Its worked out well for me though. Cuase all these girl friends have their girl friends, and once their friend hears about you being the nice guy, you are in. Thats how I met my current girlfriend, we are deeply in love, and she would have never met me without me being the nice guy.
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post #7 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 01:34 PM
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all i can say so far i'm still the current nice guy with my female friends but it hasn't moved from that, sometimes you don't want it to, sometime you hope it doesn't then there are the one where sometimes you wish it would, but hey it's not your call thats what the nice guy is there for, when my firend askes me to watch her kid so she can go do something stupid like rob a pharmacy(see other thread) with her moron b/f, i don't mind cus like like her and i love her son like he was mine, i guess it evens out in the end....

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post #8 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 05:27 PM
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I'm the perpetual nice guy. It's ah.. not so nice, for the reasons mentioned. Personally I always found this quote to be right on the nose:

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying: "You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."
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post #9 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 06:00 PM
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Here's to the person that wrote that article

Very well put (I'm in that same situation now)

Long live the nice guys!!!!

"Won't work, can't be done"
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post #10 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 06:02 PM
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*raises his glass* I toast to the other nice guys around. I'm kind of that "shoulder to lean on" kind of thing to a few female friends. And while her and I both have said we wouldn't want to date each other, I have heard the "I like you, but not that way" speech along with the "don't want to ruin our friendship" stuff.

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post #11 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 06:14 PM
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Wow. I read that letter and litterally had alteast two examples of times that Ive done each of the things in that list and can still remember the names and faces of the girls I did it for and the *******s they eventually dated (or got engaged to) over me. I'm not sure who wrote that, but all I can say is it's nice to be noticed and nice to receive atleast tacit recognition for all the crap we nice guys have to put up with. Eventually the ones that are worth having will come around. The rest of them I don't worry about.


One of my female friends put it to me best. She said that I'm the type of guy that a girl wants to marry. And that managed to put into prospective the reason that I don't get any play. Most women my age don't want the guy that is good marriage or even good long term relationship material. THey're in a transitional stage, some of them in college, most of them not local (especially in a town like San Diego) so they're not looking for mister right as anything more than a friend. KNowing that helps me deal with women my own age, just thought it might do some of you some good too.
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post #12 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 06:16 PM
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Hey, being a nice guy will still land you in last place. You have to know how and when to be a jerk. I don't like doing it - but every time I've gotten lucky was when I wasn't my natural nice self, but a bit of an a-hole.

Chicks tend to like that - but like the writer says - doesn't make sense.

C'mon guys, time to be dickheads .

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post #13 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 06:37 PM
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I'll be drinking to all the nice guys tonight!
Most important thing in life is to keep ya head up!

"Technical skill is mastery of complexity while creativity is mastery of simplicity."
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post #14 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 94t-birdlx
I'll be drinking to all the nice guys tonight!
Most important thing in life is to keep ya head up!

Here's to getting drunk!

Just cause I'm nice doesn't mean I don't have my vices. :P
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post #15 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 08:39 PM
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I was the nice guy back in my early years of college. I even threw an arm wrestling match with my 125 lb. friend Steph. But now all my friends are far away and married, (or close to it) and here I sit. But I'm not bitter because I'm single, quite the opposite.

Have another round on me for putting up with my sudden outburst. Cheers!

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post #16 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 09:26 PM
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I would have to agree with Kevin. I have always been a devoted nice guy my whole life and could never fathom even attempting to be a jerk. Until I was once (because I was very stressed out that day) and it got me somewhere. Then I realized how easy it is to be one,
and it gets easier every time (didn't even know I had it in me!).
In fact, I think I've pretty much had it with being a nice guy. The results have definetly overshadowed the ideals. Look at it this way, you can either act like you care to hope (against all odds) that you're going to score, or you show how you really feel about the situation and score anyway. I'm through with being polite (for now).
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post #17 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 09:53 PM
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I hear ya all. I am the "Big Brother" it seems to all my female friends. Ive put aside my assignments for hours to listen and ended up pulling all-nighters and then meeting them early to help with their assignments and never said anything about it. Ive been the designated driver and out till 5 am getting them home after a night out. And been the "boyfriend" when some perv wont give up.

I get the your nice, and funny alot but almost never gets past being friends, then end up hearing about the a**hole guy they are with. It is tough being the nice guy at times. I am the only single guy of my friends. But I seem to be good at what I do, and there is a good feeling in that.

But Im not allways the nice guy. You cant be, but when Im not its only when needed. Ever dealt with an insurance company? Had an a**hole boss? Or had someone harrasing a friend? Or standing up for what you believe is right? Being nice never gets you anywhere in those situations. But when you end up helping someone you are again seen as the nice guy.

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post #18 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 12:42 PM
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Just bang all those girls and who cares what they think

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post #19 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 05:52 PM
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It's so much easier to be the ******* rather than the nice guy. Been both.

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post #20 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 07:17 PM
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To the writer (Begins slow clap). Brilliant. Insanely Brilliant. I printed this to show to a friend of mine. We have been having the same trouble with the ladies.

I've been doing better than he has by a small margin, but we still feel our efforts are in vain at times.. Oh well Hats off to all of you all, and we will get what we deserve oneday!

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post #21 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-30-2005, 08:21 PM
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Thanks for posting this. I needed it.

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post #22 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 11:32 AM
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I want to email that to a female friend that I have. I didn't realize there were a lot of people like me. I have a friend for 5 years who has been with a person she complains about all the time... but I pretended to be friends with just to make her happy. I talked on the phone every day with her, I probably helped her stay with him because I'm too nice. I even sat by as she cheated on him with an even worse guy. She was so happy to have a friend stick with her when she was so unhappy... she loved me (as a friend). Now after 5 years I almost hate talking to her.

I hate being "nice".
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post #23 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 11:44 AM
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Sounds to me like the writer is gay.

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post #24 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 12:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric46v8
I want to email that to a female friend that I have. I didn't realize there were a lot of people like me. I have a friend for 5 years who has been with a person she complains about all the time... but I pretended to be friends with just to make her happy. I talked on the phone every day with her, I probably helped her stay with him because I'm too nice. I even sat by as she cheated on him with an even worse guy. She was so happy to have a friend stick with her when she was so unhappy... she loved me (as a friend). Now after 5 years I almost hate talking to her.

I hate being "nice".

Thats exactally the problem. Girls dont hide much of anything from nice guys. And we dont want to know it all...
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post #25 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 12:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AEDM8
Sounds to me like the writer is gay.
I guess that means that everybody who agrees is gay, too?


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post #26 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 12:49 PM
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Maybe...

Lighten up bud, it was a joke.

Some supercharged cars blow.......Others just pick up and move.
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post #27 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AEDM8
Maybe...

Lighten up bud, it was a joke.


Good one, you really had me thinking you thought he was gay, and being gay is funny.





Note to self, add AEDM8 to ignore list.
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post #28 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 02:10 PM
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Nice guys... real nice guys don't go on and on about how nice they are...

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post #29 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 05:17 PM
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How I really feel.....

Being "too nice" is a sad excuse for not having a girlfriend. She either likes you or not. Sitting around playing barbies and braiding each others hair wont get her to be yours. She wants a man, not another girlfriend.

Maybe you need to start acting like a guy and ask her out, if she doesnt want you quit being her puppy and move on.

If you still want to keep her around as a friend you quit *****ing about how you have to hold her hair over the toilet while she's throwing up, protecting her *** at parties or listen to her ***** on the phone for 3 hours about how some guy dicked her and left. That is what being a friend is about. If it bothers you then you set her straight.

Its one or the other. No in between, "Im too nice" crap.

Some supercharged cars blow.......Others just pick up and move.
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post #30 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 05:31 PM
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I'm an a$$hole

My wife agrees, at least we agree on something

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