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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 08:02 PM Thread Starter
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Joel's mom

You didn't think you were going to get away unpunished for making me stay an hour and a half late at work for nothing did ya?

Joel's mom is so fat that when she went bungie-jumping she took the bridge with her.
Joel's mom is so fat when u drive around her, it's christmas again!
Joel's mom is so fat that when she turns around it's her birthday .
Joel's mom is so fat that when she walked in front the TV we missed '60 minutes'.
Joel's mom is so fat when she was cleaning the cages at the zoo people said look at that hippopotamus.
Joel's mom is so fat her stomach has different time zones.
Joel's mom is so stupid she got trapped in a grociery store and starved to death.
Joel's mom is so stupid she got trapped in a furniture store and slept on da floor.
Joel's mom is so stupid she got trapped in the toilet and she wet her pants.
Joel's mom is so stupid she agreed to DJ for an ice cream truck.
Joel's mom is so stupid she dedicated her life to finish climbing a clear wall to see what was on the other side.
Joel's mom is so fat she wears the equator for a belt.
Joel's mom is so stupid she shoved a 9 volt battery up her butt and said 'I got the power'.
Joel's mom is so fat, she had to go to sea world to get baptised.
Joel's mom is so fat wen she drifted out to sea people thought she was an island.
Joel's mom is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone
Joel's mom is so dumb, she threw a rock at the ground and missed
Joel's mom is so fat, when she sat on toilet it said 'A,B,C,D get your fat butt off of me'.
Joel's mom is so fat when she stepped on the scale it said to be continued.
Joel's mom is so fat that one time she stepped on a scale and the doctor said 'Hey I want your weight number not your phone number'.
Joel's mom is so poor I saw her digging in the dumpster and I asked her what she was doing and she said christmas shopping.
Joel's mom is so fat when god created heaven he said move over let there be light.
Joel's mom is so stupid she fought an asperation was butt sweat.
Joel's mom is so ugly when she was born her mom said what a treasure a her dad said lets go bury it.
Joel's mom is so fat she uses a hula hoop to hold her socks on.
Joel's mom is so fat she fell over in the driveway and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.
Joel's mom is so ugly she has to trick-or-treat over the phone.
Joel's mom is so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side!
Joel's mom is so stupid when she heard it was chilly outside she grabbed a bowl.
Joel's mom is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumpin out the basement window.
Joel's mom is so fat NASA has satelites orbiting around her.
Joel's mom is so ugly when she was born she had to have tinted windows in her incubator.
Joel's mom is so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.
Joel's mom is so fat, that they had to oil the door frame and hold a twinke on the other side just to get her out!
Joel's mom is so fat she has more rolls than a bakery!
Joel's mom is so fat when she went swimmin in the ocean Spain claimed her as their new world.
Joel's mom is so fat when she went swimmin in the ocean all the wales started singin we are family.
Joel's mom is so poor when i saw her on the street kicking a can i asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
Joel's mom is so ugly when she look out the window she got arrested for mooning.
Joel's mom is so fat she had a dream about marshmallows and woke up and the pillow was gone.
Joel's mom is so dumb she got knocked over by a parked car.
Joel's mom is so fat when she sat down there was an earthquake in japan.
Joel's mom is so fat she makes mars look like a tic tac.
Joel's mom is so fat dat wen she went into the bath the water jumped out.
Joel's mom is so fat that each time she farts, the weather network gives it a name.

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 08:27 PM
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 08:32 PM Thread Starter
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No, we had a Joel's mom Group Purchase in early September though.

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 09:05 PM
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 09:36 PM
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Not that I really wanted to have you stay late man.....stupid MRI took forever, left there just a few minutes before you called.....feeling sick anyways, medication not agreeing with me today at all...

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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 09:56 PM Thread Starter
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Oh okay, I was hoping you weren't just going to leave me there all night without calling *sniff sniff*.

Glad you made it home okay.

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 07:43 PM
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In case you can't tell, the Carolina group is a close bunch!



When Joel's mom goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate!
Joel's mom is so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang!






The funny thing is, Joel's mom is actually really small.

We call her "Mini-mom"

<----not throwing rocks at girls anymore
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 09:52 PM
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 09:53 PM Thread Starter
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We'll be glad to have ya!

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 10:28 PM
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I forgot that there were people on this board who don't hate me....haha....

--Craig

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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 10:30 PM Thread Starter
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Not everyone has blindly fallen to the 'dark side' and realizes stuff happens and that there are two sides to every story, and some stuff should just stay private.

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-23-2005, 10:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deus003
I forgot that there were people on this board who don't hate me....haha....

--Craig
If you ever thought I hated ya...be prepared for an (_!_) kickin!!!!!

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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 12:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowDragon
Not everyone has blindly fallen to the 'dark side' and realizes stuff happens and that there are two sides to every story, and some stuff should just stay private.


I don't know both sides, I don't care to know both sides. The important thing is the kid involved. Take care of him. She's a big girl she can take care of herself. He is a kid and cannot. Most importantly we don't want the details.
I don't know you so it would not be right for me to pass judgement on you based on what someone else said. Now if there were bruises or something it would be a different story.
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 12:33 AM
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I've made a decision. ANY crack from either side will be trashed. If it gets out of hand, I will not hesitate to temp-ban. I'm not gonna let this site be a sounding board for anybody's dirty laundry. Do I make myself clear?

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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 06:56 AM
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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 07:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big-Al
In case you can't tell, the Carolina group is a close bunch!
When Joel's mom goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate!
Joel's mom is so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang!

The funny thing is, Joel's mom is actually really small.

We call her "Mini-mom"
She's actually really nice too

She was driving the car, one thumb on the wheel; cigarette burnin, life to her was no big deal.
Her thin, white tanktop was almost see-thru; I've always been attracted to her dragon tattoo.
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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 01:39 PM
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Gee Sir WIll, I didn't know Joel's mom was such a sensitive topic for ya?!




<-----ducks under desk





Just kidding!

<----not throwing rocks at girls anymore
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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 01:44 PM
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<---bites tounge

She was driving the car, one thumb on the wheel; cigarette burnin, life to her was no big deal.
Her thin, white tanktop was almost see-thru; I've always been attracted to her dragon tattoo.
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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 02:21 PM
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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 03:31 PM
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I hope Joel's mom doesn't read this.

Nick......................I'm back!!!
May you fly low and fast
rest in peace JL
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post #21 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 03:40 PM Thread Starter
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Just in case she does. I'm still waiting on my $50!

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

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post #22 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 03:41 PM
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That was harsh....BTW Andy, I love Dexter Freebish.....

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post #23 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 04:16 PM
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Quote:
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I forgot that there were people on this board who don't hate me....haha....

--Craig
i haven't started hating ya yet but we will see...lol j/k
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post #24 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 04:24 PM
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Quote:
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That was harsh....BTW Andy, I love Dexter Freebish.....

--Craig
You dang ryte!!

She was driving the car, one thumb on the wheel; cigarette burnin, life to her was no big deal.
Her thin, white tanktop was almost see-thru; I've always been attracted to her dragon tattoo.
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post #25 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowDragon
Just in case she does. I'm still waiting on my $50!



Get in line, Shads.

It's like waiting in line for Mike to repay his debt, you just stand there waiting with all your friends.

<----not throwing rocks at girls anymore
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post #26 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 05:25 PM Thread Starter
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Does SD have to choke a ho?

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
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post #27 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 05:53 PM
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Look, Wayne Brady, don't get all huffy, just get in line like everyone else!

<----not throwing rocks at girls anymore
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post #28 of 28 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 09:01 PM
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