Insecurity shakes its ugly head....again - TCCoA Forums
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post #1 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-08-2005, 08:38 PM Thread Starter
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Insecurity shakes its ugly head....again

Here we go..

So my g/f breaks up with me because she needs more "time" to think it through, I didn't want to pressure her so I said how about we just say we are dating, and take it slow. She says okay and everything is fine.

Until.. A "friend" of hers, lets call him Rick, begins to be hanging out with her more and more. Rick has a better car than John (me obviously), better looking, bigger, and makes more money (much more). I guess he's the total package.

For those that are curious about the vehicle, its a Black S-10 with air ride that has won at car shows. I hear something about air ride once every conversation now.

Why should I be caring, you ask? Because we dated for 2 years, had a long hiatus, got back together and now this. I can't get her out of my life, I have tried and just cannot do it. It really sucks, I thought I have grown up from this crap. I am 20 years old now and still feel like I am 17 again.

Thanks for listening.

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post #2 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-08-2005, 09:05 PM
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You know, I suppose I could tell you to, "GO AFTER HER". Me thinks that is the wrong thing at this juncture. As I see it, she is either doing one of two things. Either she is moving on with her life or she is trying to make you jealous. You are right it does not help that your insecurities are getting the best of you. If you don't like the fact that she is seeing other "friends". Maybe you should bite the bullet take a shower and go out on the hunt for your self. If She is tring to make you crazy, she looks like she might be doing so. That means, she is playing games. Games are for stadiums, highschool popularity and sunday night after dinner with the family. For a guy with a inteligent, non controling outlook on this whole situation you are showing the right feelings. Just don't let her cover your eyes to what is really out there. Shure he might be all the things you say, but if she wants that so be it. Go find some girl that is tasty, thinner,smarter with bigger....Eyes and one who dosen't play games. For the most part we as men are just as smart as women let us think we are. So please don't go heads up with her.

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post #3 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-08-2005, 09:36 PM
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That really sucks. I would feel threatened also. The other guy is definetly trying to steal her from you. But if she is in the same boat as you (financially, schoolwise, etc) then she shouldn't care about dating someone who is "doing better" because you should both be sucessful at the same time (when you graduate). He doesn't sound like he's doing that much better than you unless he's driving a Jaguar or something to that effect. Is he a full time student like you? Is he smart, educated, going somewhere promising in life? Because that's what's important. I know it doesn't mean anything right now (trust me, I have been in this situation more times than I can imagine). I don't want to make you any more worried than you are now, but she's probably going to leave you for him. I say that because that is the mere nature of young girls (20ish). They are easily impressed by the "things" that guys like him have, rather than the person that they already have. It has happened to me and I have seen it happen to almost all of my friends. That's why I only date older girls (like mid 20's). The only advice which isn't much that I can offer is don't chase /pressure her. That will only give her more reason to stay away. Women hate it when you seem desperate. She might just have an enlightenment of maturity and come back to you afterall. Good luck.

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post #4 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-08-2005, 09:58 PM
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That really sucks. I would feel threatened also. The other guy is definetly trying to steal her from you. But if she is in the same boat as you (financially, schoolwise, etc) then she shouldn't care about dating someone who is "doing better" because you should both be sucessful at the same time (when you graduate). He doesn't sound like he's doing that much better than you unless he's driving a Jaguar or something to that effect. Is he a full time student like you? Is he smart, educated, going somewhere promising in life? Because that's what's important. I know it doesn't mean anything right now (trust me, I have been in this situation more times than I can imagine). I don't want to make you any more worried than you are now, but she's probably going to leave you for him. I say that because that is the mere nature of young girls (20ish). They are easily impressed by the "things" that guys like him have, rather than the person that they already have. It has happened to me and I have seen it happen to almost all of my friends. That's why I only date older girls (like mid 20's). The only advice which isn't much that I can offer is don't chase /pressure her. That will only give her more reason to stay away. Women hate it when you seem desperate. She might just have an enlightenment of maturity and come back to you afterall. Good luck.
maybe youre there for her too much and he isnt, girls want what they cant or shounldt have.

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post #5 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 12:30 AM
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beat him up. Young love doesnt last anyway. Atleast youll have something to be proud of in the end

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post #6 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 12:47 AM
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beat him up. Young love doesnt last anyway. Atleast youll have something to be proud of in the end
Yeah, an arrest record or a black eye or both.
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post #7 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 01:00 AM
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So my g/f breaks up with me because she needs more "time" to think it through, I didn't want to pressure her so I said how about we just say we are dating, and take it slow. She says okay and everything is fine.
DUMP HER!! ANY girl that says she needs times means that she either wants to cheat on you and not get in trouble for it or explore cuz she THINKS she can do better even though she probably cant. she wants to be able to be with other guys and see if she likes them or not, which sucks cuz that makes you plan B. any girl that doesnt make you her priority isnt worth it TRUST me. we are almost the same ago and i can understand how you feel for her but in the long run its just gonna hurt you more. seeing other people means she wants you as a backup if she doesnt have plans with the other guys. do you want to share your girlfriend with other guys? cuz you already are man if you think about it. i knew my girlfriend was the right one cuz she chose me and didnt look at any other guys or relationships. she would kill for me and i would kill for her. now when a girl says she wants some "time" that means you guys are heading downhill and you guys are "trying" to make things better but trust me all your doing is just snowballing down that same hill. the snowball keeps getting bigger and bigger and trust me you will be the guy that gets hit with that snowball at the bottom of the hill. she will be out of its path with that "other" guy.

just talkin from experience. no girl is worth that pain. my ex wanted to have some time and i KNEW from that time she wanted to date my friend also. she ended up dating him and me and i allowed it. her excuse was that she wanted to make us both happy. i say screw that! thats why they call it a couple, 2 people, not you sharing your girlfriend which you are buy giving her time with that other guy. if you ask her a question on this subject it shouldnt be "i dunno" or i need time. for me and my girlfriend it wasnt simple but we both knew what we wanted.

its your time to deal your cards on the table. if she doesnt want to lay her cards down, shes bluffing or she isnt worth it man. i wouldnt want a woman that isnt definate about us. either yes or no. ez as that!

*cough cough*...hummm ok enough of that
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post #8 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 01:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ITHURTZ
beat him up. Young love doesnt last anyway. Atleast youll have something to be proud of in the end
this coming from the one who started a thread about finding a girl...

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post #9 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 01:56 AM
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this coming from the one who started a thread about finding a girl...
whats a girl wanting another guy have to do with finding a girl that isnt loose as a goose etc etc?

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post #10 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 02:28 AM
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No, no, no! Get angry and stay the hell away from her. Yeah, its probably true she will more than likely start going out with this "other" guy. Forget it. There are plenty of women out there. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, keep it. If not, hunt it down and KILL it. If you stay away long enough, no matter how bad it hurts YOU, then eventually she will wondering what is going on and start to come back for that attention she ain't gittin from you any more.
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post #11 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 03:40 AM
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Originally Posted by 1997T-Bird
Here we go..

So my g/f breaks up with me because she needs more "time" to think it through, I didn't want to pressure her so I said how about we just say we are dating, and take it slow. She says okay and everything is fine.

Until.. A "friend" of hers, lets call him Rick, begins to be hanging out with her more and more. Rick has a better car than John (me obviously), better looking, bigger, and makes more money (much more). I guess he's the total package.

For those that are curious about the vehicle, its a Black S-10 with air ride that has won at car shows. I hear something about air ride once every conversation now.

Why should I be caring, you ask? Because we dated for 2 years, had a long hiatus, got back together and now this. I can't get her out of my life, I have tried and just cannot do it. It really sucks, I thought I have grown up from this crap. I am 20 years old now and still feel like I am 17 again.

Thanks for listening.

After reading your post and comparing it to my own experiences I have this to say to you: Women are capricious, fickle creatures that have no idea what they want until they can't have it anymore.

Now... as far as Rick is concerned. Don't worry about him. Chances are, he's a passing phase for this girl. And if he's not. THen that's something you'll have to deal with when the time comes. Cars, money, and looks aren't things that you want your mate to idolize. If that's all there is to her then, I hate to say it, you've wasted your time. Walk away from the situation. That is honestly the best thing you could possibly do. It hurts like a son-of-a-*****. Trust me. I've been there. But you will thank yourself for doing it down the road. Leave the situation alone. Let her make her mistakes and if YOU decide to be there when she realizes she has made a mistake, then that's up to you. Empower yourself and well.. the rest is easy.
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post #12 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 06:54 AM
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Cars, money, and looks aren't things that you want your mate to idolize. If that's all there is to her then, I hate to say it, you've wasted your time.
Bingo! I was waiting for someone to say that.

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post #13 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 06:38 PM
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Good thing y'all didn't get married.

Better to know before than after.
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post #14 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 06:53 PM
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First off, an S-10 is no way in hell a better vehicle that an MN12. Second, you should do the same thing she's doing. Go out, have fun and try to find someone else to hook up with. Do NOT waste your time, cry in your beer, bit&h and moan, and begin to hate life. No girl is worth that. Yeah I will tell you right now, it's gonna really suck for a week or so. Eventually, that time will past by and either A) She'll come back to you or B) You'll begin to realize your better off anyway. If she comes back to you, don't get all excited, etc, just relax. If she in anyway sees that your upset, she'll feel great. Yes it's true, girls feed on a guy who is depressed over them; they love it. I Hope I helped.

Do not go attack this new guy she's hanging with. Leave them too alone but if he comes to you and says something smart, acts like a wise @$$, act like one right back at him. If he trys to force contact on you, lay his @$$ out all over the f'n ground. It would be in self defense and you wouldn't get locked up. (and as ITHURTZ said, you would build your confidence but ONLY strike if he strikes first)

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post #15 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 07:36 PM Thread Starter
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I'm not hating the guy because he is just bein a dude, I'm not that stupid.

I really appreciate the posts guys, you really cleared **** up.

Thanks,

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post #16 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 10:06 PM
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Take your anger and go to the gym. Youll get big that way

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post #17 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 10:08 PM
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Take your anger and go to the gym. Youll get big that way

Or hurt yourself. Besides.. do you really want to take advice from this guy?
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post #18 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 11:23 PM
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Take my advice? Why not its good advice. you got a problem with it oh well. Im not the one sittin on my buttocks and wondering why girls dont yell at me or why I cant get dates. Or wonder why my gf leaves me for another man.

ANd hurt yourself from lifting? How

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post #19 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 11:28 PM
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Or hurt yourself. Besides.. do you really want to take advice from this guy?
I know I don't:P. but for once he's right.
I gotta get mad at the gym (slipknot, papa roach, or anything loud and heavy is what I listen to when I'm working out) to get a REALLY good workout.

But ya....women......I've always been a very paranoid person so I have trouble telling if people (mostly women) are lying to me or mean what they say or whatever.

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post #20 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 11:30 PM
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ANd hurt yourself from lifting? How
Tell me that's supposed to be sarcasm.

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post #21 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 11:33 PM
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The only time you hurt yourself from lifting is when your an idiot and have bad form.

Dont have an ego the size of jupiter when your really the weakest person in the gym and there is no reason why you should get hurt

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post #22 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 11:35 PM
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Take my advice? Why not its good advice. you got a problem with it oh well. Im not the one sittin on my buttocks and wondering why girls dont yell at me or why I cant get dates. Or wonder why my gf leaves me for another man.

ANd hurt yourself from lifting? How


Right. You've never posted *****ing about not being able to find a girl? Tell me THAT's supposed to be sarcasm. And you wanna know how you hurt yourself while lifting angry? You start to jerk instead of going through smooth motions because you're freakin' pissed. DOn't think you're the only guy in the world that knows a thing or two about working out. My Dad is a Navy Pentathalon Champion several times over (as a Coach and as an Athlete) I've picked up a few things on getting into and staying in shape.

Consider yourself pwned.
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post #23 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 11:38 PM
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You don't need to be lifting more than you can handle to hurt yourself.
Weight slips and smashes your foot, somebody else screws up around you, hell you can have perfect form and still pull something.

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post #24 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 11:43 PM
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Right. You've never posted *****ing about not being able to find a girl? Tell me THAT's supposed to be sarcasm. And you wanna know how you hurt yourself while lifting angry? You start to jerk instead of going through smooth motions because you're freakin' pissed. DOn't think you're the only guy in the world that knows a thing or two about working out. My Dad is a Navy Pentathalon Champion several times over (as a Coach and as an Athlete) I've picked up a few things on getting into and staying in shape.

Consider yourself pwned.
Iv posted as why its impossible to find a girl that doesnt smoke, drink, club, and is loose as a gooose. I have no problem picking up girls that DO do this. im 6' 2" powerful as all heck, fine a$$ body, and one hell of a charming guy. Iv got no problem finding A girl.

Again jerking around is bad form. 2 yrs of serious lifting I have yet to pull ANYTHING when my form is correct. Of course iv pulled a bicep and my rotator cuff but thats because I was being dumb, and didnt have a spotter for one. You do not pull things when you are doing it correct and are not doing more wieght tha tu can handle. Son I will OWN you in the weight lifting area. Dont play with me there

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post #25 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 11:49 PM
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Hey 1997T-Bird I was In your exact situation some years back and I was going to leave to Marine boot camp so one day I decided it was over and told her to never talk to me again (Yes, I was drunk) so about three days before I leave I meet this girl at a gas station was'nt trying to pick up on her but just kind of started talking to her. Anyway she is now my wife and man is she great!!

So don't try to hang on, what ever happens happens and live your life. because when the right woman comes along you will know that it' her.
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post #26 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-10-2005, 12:37 AM
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Iv posted as why its impossible to find a girl that doesnt smoke, drink, club, and is loose as a gooose. I have no problem picking up girls that DO do this. im 6' 2" powerful as all heck, fine a$$ body, and one hell of a charming guy. Iv got no problem finding A girl.

Again jerking around is bad form. 2 yrs of serious lifting I have yet to pull ANYTHING when my form is correct. Of course iv pulled a bicep and my rotator cuff but thats because I was being dumb, and didnt have a spotter for one. You do not pull things when you are doing it correct and are not doing more wieght tha tu can handle. Son I will OWN you in the weight lifting area. Dont play with me there

Charming? Too bad you're dumb as a brick. And I've seen the picks you post buddy, you look like you got drug by a helo through the ugly forest. At any rate, you told this guy to go work out angry. That's a bad freakin' idea all around. If you know so much about weight lifting then you know that doing so while you're pissed is going to cause your form to be off. Unless you think you're so good that you can lift while pissed because your form is so automatic.

The guy wants advice, not testosteroine addled, poorly written, half-baked ideas on "getting yoked." Learn to type in English and then try talking to me again.
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post #27 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-10-2005, 01:00 AM
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And thats why Iv been pissed before and lifted more weight? Form comes from focus. If you cant do form when your pissed, then please do not pick up a weight.

Does that also mean I cant fight better when I pissed cause my form will be off? Sorry if im pissed Ill have more than twice the power than I would when I am not.

And yes form is automatic when your brain is out of the gutter and where it is supposed to be.

Id like to see your pic compared to me

And you learn how to spell. its testosterone. If your trying to sound big, atleast spell it right

You E thugs are amazing, all talk cause your on a forum

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post #28 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-10-2005, 01:08 AM
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And thats why Iv been pissed before and lifted more weight? Form comes from focus. If you cant do form when your pissed, then please do not pick up a weight.

Does that also mean I cant fight better when I pissed cause my form will be off? Sorry if im pissed Ill have more than twice the power than I would when I am not.

And yes form is automatic when your brain is out of the gutter and where it is supposed to be.

Id like to see your pic compared to me

And you learn how to spell. its testosterone. If your trying to sound big, atleast spell it right

You E thugs are amazing, all talk cause your on a forum
First of all, if the guy has never lifted before, he's gunna have to concentrate on his form. I know people that have lifted for years that still concentrate on their form and refuse to work out angry because of the probability that they'll hurt themselves. I'm not even going to address your "fighting" tangent. I love how all of your posts degrade into veiled threats about kicking somebody's ***.

As for the pictures? Don't really feel like posting them. I'm not here to have my appearance judged by a bunch of other guys. I'm here to exchange technical information with other enthusiasts and occasionally waste time on morons like you.

What? Run your post through a spellcheck before you replied to talk trash? Besides, the "O" and the "I" are right next to eachother on the keyboard. Too bad spellcheck doesn't check for punctuation and grammar errors. How about a little help:

Your: Expressing ownership. IE: Is that your car?
You're: Contraction of You and Are. Such as: You're as big of an idiot here as you are in the real world.

And my mouth doesn't have a damn thing to do with being on the net. You can have the last word because I'm done with this thread as of.... now.
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post #29 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-10-2005, 01:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1997T-Bird
Here we go..

So my g/f breaks up with me because she needs more "time" to think it through, I didn't want to pressure her so I said how about we just say we are dating, and take it slow. She says okay and everything is fine.

Until.. A "friend" of hers, lets call him Rick, begins to be hanging out with her more and more. Rick has a better car than John (me obviously), better looking, bigger, and makes more money (much more). I guess he's the total package.

For those that are curious about the vehicle, its a Black S-10 with air ride that has won at car shows. I hear something about air ride once every conversation now.

Why should I be caring, you ask? Because we dated for 2 years, had a long hiatus, got back together and now this. I can't get her out of my life, I have tried and just cannot do it. It really sucks, I thought I have grown up from this crap. I am 20 years old now and still feel like I am 17 again.

Thanks for listening.
Let me tell you a little bit about my story and maybe it'll help you cope with what's going on...

5 years ago or so, I met a girl online. I was big into christianity, she was into bad things. We spoke off and on for the first year, I got less anal and she started to get outta bad habits. Year two we started talking a lot, she cleaned up and kicked all her bad habits for and because of me. Year three we were best friends, talked for hours on end, on the phone, we met a few times, I down there, she came up here twice. Going into year four we were best friends, became off-and-on long distance lovers, and dreamers to be together.

About the time that I started really falling for her, she started to give up on hope. In her efforts to get free and become more independant, I became controlling and turned into an Über dick. After not too long, she cheated on me. She said she was sorry, wanted to work something out, and kept fooling around with this other guy. Ironically, she'd met him about the same time as me. Year 5 was basically us trying to work a freindship out, not to much avail...

As it stands now, she doesn't want to talk to me, and I'm nothing more than a bad memory. She's the kind of girl that everyone wants, go getter, good head on her shoulders, has lots of fun. I on the other hand live a pretty solitary and independant/loner life. Over the course of the events between us... the arguements, mud slinging, cheating, taking breaks, not talking... I lost the first love of my life and my best friend of 5 years.

At this point, I only have one real close friend that I talk to/hang out with on a semi regular basis. Her name's Stacy, she's two years younger than me (I'm 22, she turns 20 in a month), we talk a couple times a week and get to hang out a few times a month. I talk to quite a few people from TCCOA online and it's nice to get to know people, but ultimately I know it's no substitute for my lack of a social life, and not having any places or any people to go out with. I have gotten VERY close with a few people on here, as I'm sure they know who they are, but it's also a harsh reminder that I'm missing something in my life.

Now that you know where I stand after a very long blurb, I only hope that maybe you can take some wisdom from my words. Let go of her. Move on from the past, but don't try to hide it because nothing will change the events that happened between you to. Embrace the good times and learn from the bad times. I know it's hard but it's a part of life that sometimes things go to ****. Be patient. Know that in time someone or something will come along to fill what you're missing. Don't rush it or jump into anything, something will come along your way when you're ready. Know that you're special. If you don't have a lot great in your life, or don't have a long long list of things going for you, that doesn't mean that you aren't deserving. That just means that nothing that's ready just for you has found you yet. The way I see it is love/opportunity finds you, you don't find it. Keep an open eye but don't quest after the proverbial holy grail.

I hope that you find some solace in my words, and that something comes along in your life to satisfy your pains. I don't want to give you the "it happens to everyone" speech, but there are people who can relate to what you've been through. Trust in your friends and the good times, find some new things to do and things will work themselves out.

+1

Elliot
'95 who-the-hell-knows-what in progress
2003 Mustang Cobra radiator, 180* T-stat, Hayden Ultra-cool auxiliary transmission cooler, 13" slotted/cross-drilled front rotors, Dual-Piston PBR calipers Powder Coated Red w/ black logo, 17" 7-spoke Chrome Motegis, JVC Arsenal 5000 HU with touch screen, Kappa 5x7's, Audiobahn 12 pushing 550 rms, FF50 driving lights, FF75 fog lights, xenon 95 air dam, 97 side skirts, rear window tbird decal
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post #30 of 64 (permalink) Old 05-10-2005, 06:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiegoLXBird
Charming? Too bad you're dumb as a brick. And I've seen the picks you post buddy, you look like you got drug by a helo through the ugly forest. At any rate, you told this guy to go work out angry. That's a bad freakin' idea all around. If you know so much about weight lifting then you know that doing so while you're pissed is going to cause your form to be off. Unless you think you're so good that you can lift while pissed because your form is so automatic.

The guy wants advice, not testosteroine addled, poorly written, half-baked ideas on "getting yoked." Learn to type in English and then try talking to me again.

*Clap Clap Clap* Thank you. someone really needs to do something about this guy.
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