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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 06:13 PM Thread Starter
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Vocabulary I learned at work

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. (For those in Toronto, it's also Hwy 404... destination can not belocated.)

16. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a Cube Farm.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks

+1

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 06:20 PM
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heh we used the term cube farm at my old job.
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 06:54 PM
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I crop dust all the time, its best in retail locations...except Wall-Mart, that place smells like **** already.

"Technical skill is mastery of complexity while creativity is mastery of simplicity."
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 07:14 PM
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LMAO, I like those, but what exactly is a cube farm?

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 07:34 PM
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Usually offices now are large rooms sectioned of with small 'cubes' to make for the most efficient use of space. When there are a lot of thim in long rows it looks like some one is growing cubes.

"Technical skill is mastery of complexity while creativity is mastery of simplicity."
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon5783
. . .
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

. . .

Dear lord, I only wish the person I'm thinking about could see this . . .

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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 08:34 PM
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BOGONS: The invisible particles of stupidity that tend to emanate from the clueless. Mostly applied in IT, but is also applicable in just about any field.

BOGON GENERATOR: A particularly clueless specimen. Emits so much bogons that other people get infected and start emitting their own bogons.

CLUE-BY-4: See CLUESTICK

CLUESTICK: Piece of wood, to be applied with sufficient force to the head (or other entertaining body parts) of someone in need of a clue.

LUSER: The generic term for a user. (Think IT again here)

LART: Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool. Anything heavy will suffice. Sharp pointy things are okay too. Used to dispense an attitude readjustment to a luser. For example, a luser at the car shop managed to mess up your ride, you grab a nice lead pipe and LART the idjit.

PHB: Pointy Haired B*st*rd. Much like the seagull manager, except makes noise, craps on everything, then blames it on you, calls it a managerial decision. Combines traits of the common luser with those of a totally clueless chimp. Is a bogon generator.

1010220: A colleague that gets their work done by offloading it on you, therefore making you do the work, and he gets the free ride.

WOT: (no, not what you think...) Way Out There. "Remember Joe? He's WOT..." -- someone who has lost a marble or two due to their workplace environment.

COW-ORKER: A co-worker. This just sounds better. "So what did you do today? Well, I orked cows."

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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 09:47 PM
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Quote:
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
When I think of Prairie Dogging thats not the definition that comes to mind.
Quote:
Fat Bastard: I feel a turtle head poking out
LOL

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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 10:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghostfield
BOGONS: The invisible particles of stupidity that tend to emanate from the clueless. Mostly applied in IT, but is also applicable in just about any field.
That is our IT dept. Thursday I walked in (I work right outside IT land) and hear them arguing about a user that had hidden his desktop icons, they tried logging off and logging back on, rebooting, and were talking about re-imaging the machine till I walked in and took the mouse away from one of them and hid their icons with three button presses, then unhid them the same way.

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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 10:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowDragon
That is our IT dept. ...they tried logging off and logging back on, rebooting, and were talking about re-imaging the machine...
Ya really wanna' have some fun with them? Put this screensaver on their computers - it's a perfect rendition of the NT "bluescreen" crash : http://www.sysinternals.com/ntw2k/fr...eensaver.shtml

John

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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-14-2005, 10:28 PM
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I did that to mine, it went into the endless "reboot" and "crash" screens. Came back from lunch and one of them told me my pc was screwed up.

R.I.P. Joel Bender 07/30/79 - 03/26/06
R.I.P. Johnny Langton 1975-2011

1997 Thunderbird LX 4.6 AED 349.27RWHP/391.29RWTQ Engine Build Exterior shots
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2005, 02:25 AM
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LOL

At my job, they just give people stupid nicknames and use a lot of four letter words. My co-workers are pretty crude/ate-up.

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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2005, 02:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghostfield
CLUE-BY-4: See CLUESTICK

CLUESTICK: Piece of wood, to be applied with sufficient force to the head (or other entertaining body parts) of someone in need of a clue.
Definitly one of the funnier things I've read this month!!!!!!!!

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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2005, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon5783
7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Hey, that's me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon5783
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
I love this one. There are some people in my office who even have special instruments to aid with percussive maintenance. (an old brick)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon5783
14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
My office has a strange combination of the seagull manager and the adminisphere.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon5783
17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
I just had one of these Friday, but then it was time to go home, and so I haven't thought about it until just now.

Great list!

Night was dark, but the sky was blue,
Down the alley, the ice-wagon flew,
Heard a bump, and somebody screamed,
You should have heard just what I seen.

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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2005, 06:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowDragon
That is our IT dept. Thursday I walked in (I work right outside IT land) and hear them arguing about a user that had hidden his desktop icons, they tried logging off and logging back on, rebooting, and were talking about re-imaging the machine till I walked in and took the mouse away from one of them and hid their icons with three button presses, then unhid them the same way.
Eek. I feel your pain... I suggest a good dose of clue-by-4

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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2005, 06:39 PM
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don't forget the cube gophers. One of the real funny things to do at a cube farm ... yell "hey, dude!" and watch the gophers pop up all over the place.

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2005, 07:01 PM Thread Starter
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I've been at my new job for a week, and they've had me hired for 3, and our IS dept. still hasn't gotten me setup with a login on our system

+1

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