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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-05-2006, 11:12 PM Thread Starter
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Marriage

I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me this year. Since we've been together for two years and already have a year-old daughter, it's no secret that it's going to happen eventually. I haven't actually gotten a ring and proposed (money is SO tight now, being in college with a baby and whatnot), but we want to honeymoon up in the Keweenaw in the fall when the leaves change.

My question is (for you married fellas), what's it like--the whole process, that is? Marriage has traditionally scared the living bejeesus out of me. I mean, I want to spend the rest of my life with her anyway, but being the child of a divorce I'm kinda nervous about it. I kinda want to get a feel for what's going to happen to relax about it a little.
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-05-2006, 11:36 PM
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Let her setup the wedding, but at the same time, act interested.

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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 12:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FasTBird232
I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me this year. Since we've been together for two years and already have a year-old daughter, it's no secret that it's going to happen eventually. I haven't actually gotten a ring and proposed (money is SO tight now, being in college with a baby and whatnot), but we want to honeymoon up in the Keweenaw in the fall when the leaves change.

My question is (for you married fellas), what's it like--the whole process, that is? Marriage has traditionally scared the living bejeesus out of me. I mean, I want to spend the rest of my life with her anyway, but being the child of a divorce I'm kinda nervous about it. I kinda want to get a feel for what's going to happen to relax about it a little.
Keeweenaw ?? as in Keeweenaw Bay, U.P. ? I got a lot of family up there

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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 01:37 AM Thread Starter
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Keweenaw. Oddly, the "e"s are pronounced backwards of their order ("KEE-wuh-NAW"). Anyhow...

And yeah, Upper Peninsula. I grew up in Baraga. I'm at NMU right now. Lotta family up there, you say?
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 06:48 AM
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marraige.....no comment.









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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 07:57 AM
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You're scared? Imagine her with a baby and a boyfriend who still hasn't proposed to her. Women need security.

Marriage is great when you are with the right person. My wife and I dated 3 months and we knew we were meant to be together. We went and bought an inexpensive set of wedding rings. We'll get her a diamond later. It's been 9 years, but being the only breadwinner, I haven't been able to set aside the diamond money yet. Cool thing is, she could care less about the diamond, which means she deserves it even more.

Advice: In-laws will drive you nuts. Consider them blood family. It makes it easiser to forgive them.

Also consider finding a good church together. There are a lot of ministries that cater to young married couples, especially with children. From marriage enrichment classes to parent's night out, it all helps.

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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 08:20 AM
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The most important thing I have learned about marriage is that loving someone is a decision. You won't feel like you love someone all the time and it's in those times you need to decide to love them. As long as both of you are commited to that and can communicate well you can get through anything life can throw at you. It won't always be fun or easy but you will make it. I will also mention making a commitment that divorce is never an option is also a decision. Been married 13 years now together for 15

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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 09:19 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThunderB
We went and bought an inexpensive set of wedding rings... she could care less about the diamond, which means she deserves it even more.
That's been my big sticking point. She's always joking, "Where's my big diamond?" I'm sure she's just joking about getting married, but since we don't have near enough for a good ring right now, I keep putting it off because I don't want to insult her with something that's not good enough. But you don't think she'd care? A year ago I accidentally bought her an engagement-type ring that has three diamonds and is made out of white gold, so it's pretty hard to out-do that. Maybe if I just took it off her and slipped it back on?

Oh, and divorce has never been an option. Ever since Liv came along, I told her "You do realize you can never get rid of me, right?" meaning I know how it is when your parents split, so that's never gonna happen to Liv.
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 10:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FasTBird232
I told her "You do realize you can never get rid of me, right?"
hahaha thats awesome!



I personally isn't married, but marriage doesnt scare me in any way.
i mean think about it : You are with some1 that makes you happy, wont put you down, will be there for you, will share responsibility with you, will listen and will be there for you when you need them. Assuming previouse is correct -> From that you get security, trust, reliability... what alse can you ask for?
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 11:49 AM
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i agree with everyone on here. i been with my girl 2 1/2 years now and we are engaged. i couldnt even think of ever leaving her and i know she wont leave me. as for loving her after about hmmmm say 1/2 a year maybe less i knew that she was the one for me. we are so perfect together she dont care about money, or anything like that she just wants a happy life.
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-06-2006, 04:20 PM
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Wow your 20, your so young. But if you love her and she makes you happy, it doesnt matter what the ring looks like. Best wishes!

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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-07-2006, 01:04 AM
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-07-2006, 09:09 AM Thread Starter
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psst......RUN.
Can't.



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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-07-2006, 11:23 AM
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Mothers day is coming up, ALOT of jewlery stores have huge sales before Mother's day. I let my wife pick the ring SHE really wanted and just buy luck they had that ring for 60% off as part of a sale.

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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-07-2006, 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted by rancherlee
Mothers day is coming up, ALOT of jewlery stores have huge sales before Mother's day. I let my wife pick the ring SHE really wanted and just buy luck they had that ring for 60% off as part of a sale.
ha ha thats what i did. i pulled her into zales and we started lookin and she found ones she liked and then she seen one that was just amazing. all the other ones were nothing compared to this one. so i told them ring it up. and she gave me this look and she was soooo happy. she didnt know it was an engagemant ring till a week later after it got back from sizing best valentines gift she's ever gotten

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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-07-2006, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FasTBird232
Keweenaw. Oddly, the "e"s are pronounced backwards of their order ("KEE-wuh-NAW"). Anyhow...

And yeah, Upper Peninsula. I grew up in Baraga. I'm at NMU right now. Lotta family up there, you say?

Yeah , my favorite pizza in the world is from that little shop down by the lake. I might head up to NMU or houghton, not sure yet. About the marraige ?? Good for you man, I only wish I could get married now. I'm 19 lol. Oh know any madosh's ?? Gereaux's ?? Loonsfoot's ??? all my family

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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-07-2006, 05:53 PM Thread Starter
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I graduated with a Nikki Gereaux (not sure of the spelling) and played football with a Tony Loonsfoot.

But that Mother's Day sale idea sounds really good. Her birthday is in May, so maybe that would work out well. I'll have to ask the local jewelers if they're doing anything like that.
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-07-2006, 07:26 PM
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Since one of the main reasons you seem to be leaning toward marriage is your daughter, being a parent you should know to always think of them first. Although a happy home with two parents is best, an unhappy two parent home is worse than two single parent ones. I don't mean to assume there are any problems within your relationship and I admire your determination to make things work, just make sure you aren't rushing into it.

In today's society there are so many babies born out of wed-lock that often times the parents who were "raised right" want to make the next step into marriage as well. While marriage is a great thing, take the advise of someone who also just became engaged and make sure that not just the girl is right, but the timing is also. Take the advise of the dad of a 5 year old and remember that ever decision you make, good or bad, will have consequences on your child. Take the advise of a child who went through the unhealthy househould and keep in mind the pain that can beset a child to see their parents fall out of love.

Make sure the timing is right and once you are sure of it, make sure again. If you decide marriage is the answer congratulations, if not, give it more time, just don't rush

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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-08-2006, 12:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FasTBird232
I graduated with a Nikki Gereaux (not sure of the spelling) and played football with a Tony Loonsfoot.

But that Mother's Day sale idea sounds really good. Her birthday is in May, so maybe that would work out well. I'll have to ask the local jewelers if they're doing anything like that.

DANG !! Nikki is my cousin, we visit them in the summer when the roads are actually travelable up there lol.

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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-08-2006, 03:01 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 504 Bird
Since one of the main reasons you seem to be leaning toward marriage is your daughter, being a parent you should know to always think of them first. Although a happy home with two parents is best, an unhappy two parent home is worse than two single parent ones. I don't mean to assume there are any problems within your relationship and I admire your determination to make things work, just make sure you aren't rushing into it.

In today's society there are so many babies born out of wed-lock that often times the parents who were "raised right" want to make the next step into marriage as well. While marriage is a great thing, take the advise of someone who also just became engaged and make sure that not just the girl is right, but the timing is also. Take the advise of the dad of a 5 year old and remember that ever decision you make, good or bad, will have consequences on your child. Take the advise of a child who went through the unhealthy househould and keep in mind the pain that can beset a child to see their parents fall out of love.

Make sure the timing is right and once you are sure of it, make sure again. If you decide marriage is the answer congratulations, if not, give it more time, just don't rush

I know what you're saying. While right away my first thought was, "I'll never put Liv through what I went through growing up (my parents divorced before I was born)," I still knew we'd have to make things work between my g/f and me. But we get along great, and I finally agree to get married now after two years together because I'm finally comfortable with it. I've been paranoid up to this point, like if it's not going to work out forever, we're not going to do it. But I can see that's not going to happen, and we should be a family now.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mrbeefy
DANG !! Nikki is my cousin, we visit them in the summer when the roads are actually travelable up there lol.
Heh, they're always travelable. But it's good to finally see someone on here that's been to the area.
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post #21 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-08-2006, 04:30 PM
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Hey, what do you feed a woman to kill her sex drive forever?

Wedding cake.

Marriage hasn't been good to me. Am on my second wife....someone I've known for most of my life. My only advice is don't do it unless you're an extremely tolerant person and can live with any quirks that she may develop.
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post #22 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-08-2006, 07:53 PM
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BTW, I have a wife..... but she's not mine lmfao

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