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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 11:42 AM Thread Starter
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Help!

I really don’t know how to go about talking about this so I’m going to just start typing and see what happens. Ever since high school or even before that, I have been very depressed in a way, thanks to constant bullying while in school at Southmoore then when I went to Rayburn for 2 ½ years it kind of continued, but I’m not really sure what triggered it, but I was severly depressed there and ran away from home one night stole my moms car and ended up coming home really late. For 2 months after that we (mom, little sister, and I) were seeing a family therapist, didn’t go so well I got severly suicidal and very violent almost attacking my mom with a Luisville, but I always stopped myself before I could pick up the bat. So after that episode mom called the therapist and said we need to have a emergency meeting, I said no I’m not going I don’t like going there and proceded to baracade myself into my room and unplug my phone so no one would call me cause I didn’t feel like talking. I ended up falling asleep and waking to a banging on my bedroom door, it was my dad they were worried that I’d killed myself, so I opened the door, dad and I talked for couple hours I showed him the holes in the wall that I had punched and the window I had punched out. It was then decided that it might help if I changed schools and living conditions. So I moved in with my dad and step mom in Spring, oh boy did it work out well. I wasn’t depressed anymore, I graduated with a 4.0 GPA , made the who’s who of American high school students, was 2nd LT. In my JROTC class. It was wonderful. I got a job at the local Randall’s, then Game Crazy, I was going to college for 3D Animation and made the Deans list every year, but within all this happiness there stood something that wasn’t right I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. After I finished with my Cert. in college I bought my Camaro from my best friend Joey in Orange, TX on Feb. 1, 2003, yes the day Columbia burned up in the atmosphere. That’s when I got into cars. Been working on her for 4 years soon and it seem everything seems to go wrong for me. So one day I go to a club after that, and I start getting kinda depressed cause no one will dance with me I walk out the club feeling down in the dump get the Jeep and take off with thoughts of hurting myself, then I grab my fish gutting knife out of my pocked and leave what would be the first of many scars to my left forearm. Up until now I have had many of these episodes of being slef hurting, and depression. You guys may have noticed it the day I showed up late for Don Pico’s last time. I showed up late cause I started to have those thought again due to a recent event the night before @ karaoke with some old friends, where I had fallen for girl and we had been talking all night we’d kissed and we really connected and she said you’re a really nice guy Nick I think I love you. Anyways I had to leave early that night cause that weekend I had need to help my dad with the gun shop the next morning. I get a call from my buddy that was there that night that he had hooked up with that girl that night. And the rest of the day as some of ya’ll had noticed I was really depressed and down, thought the whole world was against me. That’s why I showed up late to the dinner, but I decided to show up so wouldn’t continue to hurt myself. If some of you had noticed my right hand along the knuckles were severely bruised and scratched up. I had been punch the brick wall at home and the dashboard in the Corolla as well as the windshield as you notice its cracked. When I do that punch that stuff I feel better in a way. But I would in no way want to hurt anyone and never would cause I know better. So today at work I decided to look around on the net to see what I could possibly have wrong with me then I remember something I’d heard of called Bipolar disorder. I decided to look it up online at Wikipedia to see what I could learn about it. I’m basically a text book case of bipolar. I’d like to apologize to those whom I have snapped at in the past and say its not my fault I may have a condition. I would like to see if I can go to the doc. To see if I am actually bipolar and would like to here your opinions on which kind of doc. I should go to first my phys. Doc. That’s my first place I would like to go to but I would really like to steer clear of psychatrist.
Thanks for you time
Nick

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"She made the kessel run in less then 12 parsecs..."-ANH-1977

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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 12:17 PM
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Nick, I don't know why you want to avoid a Psychatrist but I know this one and he's a good doctor.

Looney, Paul A MD - White Stone Psychiatry
(281) 367-8255


26203 Oak Ridge Dr
The Woodlands, TX 77380

Vernon

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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 12:31 PM Thread Starter
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thanks man I just don't think i could afford one.

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"She made the kessel run in less then 12 parsecs..."-ANH-1977

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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 02:13 PM
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Takes a man to come out and tell the whole world his problems.
Nick, for as long as I've known ya, you've been a great friend.
I can never really recall, you being depressed, but then again, I don't see yall(the group) that much anyway.
I hope things get better for you Nick....just keep your head up.

Nick......................I'm back!!!
May you fly low and fast
rest in peace JL
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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 02:19 PM Thread Starter
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oh keeping my head ups not a problem with me, its just these cycles/episodes that happen to me at least once a year and the outburst, when ppl pick on me is what i want to stop. and my damn, paranoia.

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"She made the kessel run in less then 12 parsecs..."-ANH-1977

"A Man who can't bear to share his habits is a man who needs to quit them."
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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 02:24 PM
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You know Nick, sounds like you could use a HUGE joint right now.
Whatcha doin after work?










Nick......................I'm back!!!
May you fly low and fast
rest in peace JL
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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 02:33 PM Thread Starter
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all ready off work just haven't taken my drug test to go direct yet

Cruise Ship
"She made the kessel run in less then 12 parsecs..."-ANH-1977

"A Man who can't bear to share his habits is a man who needs to quit them."
http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q...6914220388.jpg
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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _95badbird
You know Nick, sounds like you could use a HUGE joint right now.
Whatcha doin after work?










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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 03:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vernon C
Nick, I don't know why you want to avoid a Psychatrist but I know this one and he's a good doctor.

Looney, Paul A MD - White Stone Psychiatry
(281) 367-8255


26203 Oak Ridge Dr
The Woodlands, TX 77380

Vernon
Did you notice the doc's name is looney?

1992 Lincoln Mark VII LSC Special Edition 5.0L Sold in 2000
1997 Thunderbird LX Sport 4.6L DECEASED 09/17/2006
1991 Thunderblunder SC 3.8L FOR SALE CHECK HOUSTON THREAD
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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 03:11 PM Thread Starter
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ya i just remember theres a head doc in my building at work, who i'm a good friend with duh

Cruise Ship
"She made the kessel run in less then 12 parsecs..."-ANH-1977

"A Man who can't bear to share his habits is a man who needs to quit them."
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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 03:49 PM
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Nick when you get home I should be able to have some info for you on Bipolor. My buddy down the road(matt) has it really bad. He seeked help and found a place that has helped him alot. I will see what I can do for you. You know if you need anything we are all here for you. And if you ever need to talk man im right next door.
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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 07:03 PM
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hey nick i have been trying to figure you you since we met. it all makes sence now. hey i dont no any doctors, but if you ever need anything let me no. 716 909 3903. phones always avalible. don

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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 08:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Wolf
I really don’t know how to go about talking about this so I’m going to just start typing and see what happens. Ever since high school or even before that, I have been very depressed in a way, thanks to constant bullying while in school at Southmoore then when I went to Rayburn for 2 ½ years it kind of continued, but I’m not really sure what triggered it, but I was severly depressed there and ran away from home one night stole my moms car and ended up coming home really late. For 2 months after that we (mom, little sister, and I) were seeing a family therapist, didn’t go so well I got severly suicidal and very violent almost attacking my mom with a Luisville, but I always stopped myself before I could pick up the bat. So after that episode mom called the therapist and said we need to have a emergency meeting, I said no I’m not going I don’t like going there and proceded to baracade myself into my room and unplug my phone so no one would call me cause I didn’t feel like talking. I ended up falling asleep and waking to a banging on my bedroom door, it was my dad they were worried that I’d killed myself, so I opened the door, dad and I talked for couple hours I showed him the holes in the wall that I had punched and the window I had punched out. It was then decided that it might help if I changed schools and living conditions. So I moved in with my dad and step mom in Spring, oh boy did it work out well. I wasn’t depressed anymore, I graduated with a 4.0 GPA , made the who’s who of American high school students, was 2nd LT. In my JROTC class. It was wonderful. I got a job at the local Randall’s, then Game Crazy, I was going to college for 3D Animation and made the Deans list every year, but within all this happiness there stood something that wasn’t right I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. After I finished with my Cert. in college I bought my Camaro from my best friend Joey in Orange, TX on Feb. 1, 2003, yes the day Columbia burned up in the atmosphere. That’s when I got into cars. Been working on her for 4 years soon and it seem everything seems to go wrong for me. So one day I go to a club after that, and I start getting kinda depressed cause no one will dance with me I walk out the club feeling down in the dump get the Jeep and take off with thoughts of hurting myself, then I grab my fish gutting knife out of my pocked and leave what would be the first of many scars to my left forearm. Up until now I have had many of these episodes of being slef hurting, and depression. You guys may have noticed it the day I showed up late for Don Pico’s last time. I showed up late cause I started to have those thought again due to a recent event the night before @ karaoke with some old friends, where I had fallen for girl and we had been talking all night we’d kissed and we really connected and she said you’re a really nice guy Nick I think I love you. Anyways I had to leave early that night cause that weekend I had need to help my dad with the gun shop the next morning. I get a call from my buddy that was there that night that he had hooked up with that girl that night. And the rest of the day as some of ya’ll had noticed I was really depressed and down, thought the whole world was against me. That’s why I showed up late to the dinner, but I decided to show up so wouldn’t continue to hurt myself. If some of you had noticed my right hand along the knuckles were severely bruised and scratched up. I had been punch the brick wall at home and the dashboard in the Corolla as well as the windshield as you notice its cracked. When I do that punch that stuff I feel better in a way. But I would in no way want to hurt anyone and never would cause I know better. So today at work I decided to look around on the net to see what I could possibly have wrong with me then I remember something I’d heard of called Bipolar disorder. I decided to look it up online at Wikipedia to see what I could learn about it. I’m basically a text book case of bipolar. I’d like to apologize to those whom I have snapped at in the past and say its not my fault I may have a condition. I would like to see if I can go to the doc. To see if I am actually bipolar and would like to here your opinions on which kind of doc. I should go to first my phys. Doc. That’s my first place I would like to go to but I would really like to steer clear of psychatrist.
Thanks for you time
Nick
its funny how when someone tells their story you actually know first hand how they feel. i wasnt picked on or anything, but the stuff i went thru these last year or so with the ex made me feel mentally abused. some of ytou guys know wyhat i was going thru, and i really felt like $#!T at times. hey nick if you havent noticed theres an @$$load of women out there and all yopu have to do is just step forward and let them know you're available. if ol' boy was really your friend he wouldnt have stepped to her or atleast given you a heads up that he was interested and asked if you and her were working on something. so damn him and her, you dont need that. dont keep negativity around you. anyhow back to my story ol' girl would say i was bipolar all the time and she knew that would piss me off and i would tell her to show me her phd in psychiatry and if not to leave me alone. but now its all good i like you made a clean break from a bad environment and now it feels good to looka my bank account on line and know i dont have anymore dead weight and baggage to cover. it all takes time. and not trying to get religious on ya, but seriously you dont need to see a doc. find you a quiet place and talk to the man above, tell him whats on your mind and let him handle it. when you think you're walking alone and there's only one set of footprints in the sand. worry not cause he's carrying the load.
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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-12-2006, 10:23 PM
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How you hangin Nick?

Nick......................I'm back!!!
May you fly low and fast
rest in peace JL
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 11:21 AM
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nick pm me with your cell
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post #16 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 12:10 PM Thread Starter
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i'm fine its just a episodial thing really, or i'll snap at someone, almost break my hand punching a wall, but i've got really good at controlling it lately, the doc in the building thinks that i work to hard and need to get more sleep. we'll see.
Thanks for asking bout me guys.
you know most of the times when i talk about my episode or what caused it, it makes it worse so sorry i haven't called or pmed some of you guys back its just me.
Thanks
Nick

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"She made the kessel run in less then 12 parsecs..."-ANH-1977

"A Man who can't bear to share his habits is a man who needs to quit them."
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post #17 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 12:14 PM
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i still need your number Nick...dammit....lol
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post #18 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 03:20 PM
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i still need your number Nick...dammit....lol
me or Nick?

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rest in peace JL
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post #19 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 04:09 PM Thread Starter
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me Nick not you Nick grr ugh "so easy even a couple cavemen named Nick can do it"

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"She made the kessel run in less then 12 parsecs..."-ANH-1977

"A Man who can't bear to share his habits is a man who needs to quit them."
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post #20 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 06:30 PM
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Quote:
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me Nick not you Nick grr ugh "so easy even a couple cavemen named Nick can do it"
hey, I represent that staement....

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rest in peace JL
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post #21 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 10:55 AM
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how bout one of you spell it Nic?
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post #22 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 12:47 PM
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sounds like a plan to me robert.

but nick, i know i give you a hard time sometimes, but i do that to everyone. josh and chris especially. so i hope that hasn't made the situation worse for you. just the way i bull**** with people.

and other nick. "represent that statement"??
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post #23 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 01:18 PM Thread Starter
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well thats the thing the reason i get pissed about the **** you give me is cause, I was bullied alot from 6th grade to 10th 1/2. and it just steams me sometimes depending on the severity of the **** giving.
Thanks though for the support.
Nick(the one who shows up to meets)

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post #24 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 02:09 PM
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i like the comment after your name nick, thats great.

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post #25 of 25 (permalink) Old 01-13-2007, 03:40 AM
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Hey don't let life get you down. You seem to have accomplished growing up pretty well. Take things as they come, you can't change the past, the emptyness you feel can't be filled with a woman, whiskey, drugs, self destruction, or self pity.

If you 're looking for a woman you'll find one in a club or bar but she's probablly not a keeper. Not saying you'll find one in a church either, but you'll find one hopefully the one. If you have a breakup, thank the Lord its sooner than later so you don't invest too much. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, look around and announce NEXT. There's alot of them out there.

You're not going to fix your problem yourself, a psycologist might help, a psycharicast can prescribe medication (maybe you need it maybe not) but the best thing I can tell you is to trust the Great Physican.

Just for yourself, don't tell anyone find a spirit filled non-denominational church. Most Pentacostal churches are very open. Jolie Olsteen, in Houston has a hugh probably too big. I found what I needed in Faith Temple Pentacostal church in Killeen, TX. Somewhere where you can actually feel the presence of the Lord, not just a building with pews and people. You'll do what you need to till you get ready till then, raise hell, just don't wind up there. I was basically a heathen for 40+ years and I'd dismiss anyone tallkinga like this to me, but the times have change and its short. If you need to talk you got my info. Take care. Been there, done that, lost the Tee-shirt to the point of when you don't care, think you have nothing to lose, the authorities would like to come in but can't unless they violate the 4th Amendment which would prevoke the exercise of the 2nd Amendment in a manner consistant with defending the home and and ability that's scary. That's how emotions cause actions that get outside personal control and the situtation can escalate rapidly with a no win situtation for all, except one side can't see it because of the pain.

Hope everything works out ok give me a hollar if you need.
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